SO over him...

Just watched the latest music video from Marilyn Manson.
And I am officially uninterested in what he does or says for the rest of his shark-jumping career.
Two words: shit sandwich.

Letting go of yet another dirty day

8.21.07
8:07pm

Went to the

96th street

branch of the New York Public Library yesterday on my break.
I'm honestly surprised that more people aren't illiterate.
This place was about a half step above a crackhouse.
Everything about it screamed lack of funding.
It was very depressing.
That depression was replaced by confused elation at my audition earlier today in which I played a shaven Sasquatch, and then it was replaced again by a far more personal sense of depression when I learned that I will NOT be featured in the upcoming Beyonce Armani Diamonds commercial.
The money is still the same and I'm sure I'll buck up when that massive whale penis check comes in but, shit, you know?
That Beyonce thing would have been on the Internet for centuries.
Fucking fickle ass French.
Fucking Ben (Ben is the flaming bag of dog farts that Mr. Armani decided to go with instead of my sexy length).
And again for the fucking asshole fickle French.
And (why the fuck not?) for Beyonce.
What about those other two girls in Destiny's Child?!
How can you just flush their hopes and dreams down the toilet like so much aborted fetal (yes fetal, not fecal) matter?
I can picture it now: Beyonce walks off stage at some goddamn award show and her cell rings.
"Hey Bee, it's one of the girls from Destiny's Child...don't suppose you're ready to do another album?"
"Oh, shoot, I'd love to, but I'm going to be in Idlewild II with Outkast."
"Oh.  Okay.  Hey, no, that's totally cool.  Me and the other girl from Destiny's Child are doing great.  But, (minute tremor enters her voice here) it sure would be fun to get the band back together again, you know? (slightest rasp of desperation in her voice here)  Keep in touch!"
Click.

Always click.

Out.

Going to Ocean City for a week.
I will think of you and eat fudge.

Feel my art.

HERE.
I have updated my youtube.
It will cure cancer, blindness, homosexuality, AIDS, splinters, creeping numbness, stomping numbness and harelips.
If you are lonely, it will give you what you need, be it companionship or orgasm or both.
If you need a hand to hold, a shoulder to cry on and soul to match yours, you will find it within my updated youtube.
I am not exaggerating.
Again, HERE is what you are looking for.
HERE is where you need to be.

"The human wang is a beautiful thing."

And mine is more beautiful than some.
All right, so I have started my youtube deluge.
I have a few more things to add and then I will personally message each and every person on my goddamn myspace friends list and tell them, personally, to check out my beautiful wang.

Let’s Get Hetero!

7.31.07
7:32 PM
So, first, anyone remember Imi Kamoze and his goddamn annoying song "Here Comes the Hot Stepper"?
I just heard it in a Subway and suddenly everything went dark.
I hate that fucking song and I hope a lot of people bought the entire album thinking it would be just as "good" as the single.
Also, I heard some shitty remake of the excellent SWV/MJ hit "Human Nature".
It was shitty, but it served to remind me of how good the original is.
I will download it tonight.
Second, has anyone seen the posters and print ads for the final Jason Bourne movie?
Whatever gets revealed to him must have instantaneously lobotomized him because in every picture he looks like his ass just fell out.
Third, I finished the last Harry Potter book but for those who haven't finished it, I'll keep mum.
I think the movie should be good if they just make it four hours or so.
Fourthly, Philip is now a resident of Long Island City.
He is in our hearts no longer, for now he is in our hallway.
Literally.
And he has brought with him the most "aggressively heterosexual" music ever.
A man-thing called Mika.
Find and download the song "Lollipop" and then dance your genitals off.
And fifthly and finally, I am a bristle length away from finishing "Ache, Spin, Die, Repeat", a short film project that I wrote at the beginning of 2005 and which was filmed a few weeks ago with Christina Girlfriend and Christina Nongirlfriend.
It is my most ambitious foray into filmmaking thus far and I am incredibly happy with it.
As soon as I am finished with it, I shall bombard youtube with some beautiful tits that will make you weep tears of Milk and Glory.
Thank you.
P.S. Also, Hot Fuzz came out on DVD today and I bought it.
Without permission.
I shall be punished with the Stick of Destiny for sure, but it will be worth it.

8.1.07
8:11 PM
Sweet and sweaty breastmeat.
I saw a super jubilant sparrow hopping around today and I realized that I enjoy watching sparrows hop.
It soothes me.
Sooooothes. Meeeeee.
Also, I realized that I could never work at Subway because, seriously, how many times do you think I could listen to people demanding a "six inch hearty Italian" without making a remark that would get me ousted by the Subway Triumvirate?
And I am now 99.7% finished with ASDR, needing only a tweak to the credits to finish it up.
There is joy in my pants.
Can you see it?

**************************************************
Since these last two entries, I have finished ASDR and been given a toffee (Worther's Original) by a priest with a gastric bypass.
Things are good.