So. Much. Nothing.

5.29.09

11:59 am

Recently:

Finished the fourth to last published Discworld book - Fun as ever. Worried what I'll do once I've craved though the last three...  Phil has suggested a series by Joe Butcher or something along those lines, the Dresden Books?  The man hasn't steered me wrong yet.

Finished Battlestar Galactica - Have quite a few questions.  Three actually.  But, in case anyone who reads this is watching or planning to watch the show, I will not raise them here.  Overall, a great show, but the ending felt a bit lacking, but like most things that are massive and amazing, it's hard to get an ending that reflects, retains and etc. all the epic glory of the show itself.  Unless you're the Shield or the Wire.  In which case you do it and do it well.

Finished the Simpsons Game - Some pretty damn hilarious stuff there (bosses include Will Wright...the actual Will Wright, creator of the Sims and Spore, Matt Groening and God...who challenges you to a DDR Showdown), but nothing about the gameplay really makes me want to go back through it.  Good game though.

Reached the point in the Simpsons television show where I can see (without any argument) what people are complaining about.  It was a series of THREE SHITTY EPISODES IN A ROW towards the back half of the 19th season.  One was a badly written and disjointed episode sort of kind of referencing Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, the next was a shoehorned 90's story that just felt odd and incongruous with the ENTIRETY of the show thus far and the third was another disjointed election '08 themed episode which seemed more to be a collection of gags without any through line.  Then there was one of those let's-Simpsonize-three-stories-that-share-a-theme episodes about Valentine's Day and love.  Just shit.  And last night, there was actually an anti-smoking episode.  They tried to be irreverent and etc. with it, but an anti-smoking episode starring the Simpsons is as transparent as an anti-drug episode starring a team up between G.I. Joe and Cobra..  On the other hand, show me something that lasts 18 years which is more good than bad.  Asshole.

Watched The Promotion, an hilarious movie starring John C. Reilly and Seann William Scott.  It's a subtle (at times) comedy which makes you understand why Seann William Scott keeps getting work and why people are always going off about how awesome John C. Reilly is.  It also features the first off-screen gay banjoist jokes I have ever heard.  God, I'm sheltered.

Watched The Amazing Screw On Head.  Fucking excellent.  I wish there was more. 

Downloaded the Wolverine movie as well.

Why is Deadpool Cyclops?

Started reading the third to last Discworld book.  Not too far into it, but it's pretty much exactly what I've come to expect based on the previous twenty four.

Started playing the new PS3 game, Infamous.  This game...it's going to keep me up...  Hopefully it heralds the coming of the Age Where Playstation Is No Longer Xbox 360's Bitch.  Apparently there's a slew of really truly enjoyable games coming out exclusively for the PS3 this year and it may actually put a slight damper on Xbox 360's towering sales disparity.  Uncharted 2, Infamous, Project Trico (although that's probably 2010), God of War 3 and Heavy Rain to name a few.  You can do it Sony, you can do it.

Found out on Tuesday, in an oddly State heavy day that the comedy album they recorded back around the show had leaked (it's as brilliant and stupid as the show itself) AND that finally, the goddamn DVD is coming out July 14th.  Day One motherfuckers, Day One.

Had a few weeks with the new Marilyn Manson album.

Meh.  Not as horrible as the most recent, but hardly memorable.  Here's a hint, when you have the guy who did programming for Nine Inch Nails for two albums and then went on to create Tweaker...let him go nuts.  Manson is done.  And, incidentally, there is a line on the new one where he calls the listeners "rapists werewolves".

"Rapist werewolves".

Think about that.

Ah...so poignant.

BUT the new eels is up on their Myspace and a lot of it is already growing on me.  Obviously I'm going through the same kind of withdrawal I did when NIN took six years to put out a single disc after taking five years to put out their double album, but these things happen.

Unless you are Prince.

However, I must not listen to the new eels until after tomorrow night.  For tonight is Cake (was feeling pretty mellow about this until I started listening to them today) and tomorrow is TMBG.  I'd be more excited if I weren't so tired.  To get to the show tonight, I have to work early today.  All in all, not a bad trade off, the more obnoxious employees aren't here until three or so but it still knocks the shit out of me.  Another problem is the building excitement over the two NIN concerts next weekend.  That shit is going to be off the hook, to use the parlance of our times.

There's rumors that Bowie is going to join them for a song or two.

Jesus Fucking Christ.

There's also some new hotness up on RSPS and Dead Ends.

You should take it.

Oh, and there's a barbeque this weekend at Colin's new place.

That's bacon.

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

http://www.the-state.com/

For The Greater Good

5.22.09

7:15 pm

Getting off the train today, I saw two morbidly obese people (a man thing and a woman thing) sitting at opposite ends of those uncomfortable wooden Subway benches that are basically a slab of wood with little wooden dividers ever two feet or so.  Each of them was occupying about two seats with the divider nestled snugly between the unspeakable oblivion of their respective ass cracks.

My first thought at seeing these...shapes filling out their clothes and just...BEING FAT was that they should marry and then try to have children so that they would both die mid-coitus, thus preventing them from multiplying and further fattening our already-bloated Nation.

Does that make me a bad person?

They were reeeeeeally fat.

Not chubby, portly, stout, porky, rotund, zaftig, chunky, swelled, callipygian or anything else; they were goddamn morbidly fucking obese.

These are the people you see in "America Is Obese" stock footage on the news, neck down only to protect their "dignity".

These are the type of people that left walking behind years ago as well as waddling.

They lumber.

They lumber like trees.

Sloppy, jelly trees.

That smell like butter tarts.

And have trouble breathing because you mentioned butter tarts to them and now they want butter tarts.

I also watched "The Prophecy" a night or two ago.

Christopher Walken as a killer angel...whew.

God would never make that mistake because He'd be killed within a week.

I'm sure I'm not the first to say so, but I believe "gleefully psychotic" describes Mr. Walken best.

But then I watch the video for Fatboy Slim's "Weapon of Choice" and things get...hm...muddled?

It's like a spell...

Anyway.

It had better not rain tomorrow...

Grrrr......

Jouncy!

5.19.09

4:48 pm

Working straight through 4:30 to 11 today.

Phil and I are going to try to recreate his lost memories regarding the Grind Show series.

I'll like a muse, but with stuff that's been forgotten...who's the saint of forgotten stuff?

Chuck?

Harold?

Eh. Whaeva.

Been listening to a band called Other Lives recently.  Discovered them while searching for leaked eels.  Really great stuff.  Very simple, sad and beautiful.  One of the guys in the band worked with eels and the producer has worked with Beck, Radiohead and Outkast, although there is NO Outkast flavor on this,

Guitar, piano, drums, violin and that's pretty much it.

I wouldn't usually dig the guy's voice, but it just fits with the melancholy tone of the music.

Melancholy yet hopeful at times.

Also a bit on the short side, both the individual songs and the album as a whole, but really moving from start to finish.

I highly recommend it.

Getting pretty hard about the upcoming NIN shows (SO many new/unplayed songs...).  In fact, I think it may be sort of obscuring my enthusiasm for the Cake and TMBG shows.

But this is the path I choose and I shall walk it, hard and resolute.

Don't FUCK with the Lords of Hell!

5.18.09

7:08 pm

Watched "Let The Right One In" this weekend.  Seriously one of the sweetest movies I'd seen in a long time.  Yes the setting and actions are the main characters are, at times, really fucked up, but there is such an innate sincerity to the relationship between Oscar and Eli that my heart just wiggled.  I had the worst feeling that this was going to end in tragedy, but when the ending finally arrived, I was all smiles.

Such a well done movie too.  Why can't people in America make a good movie like that involves vampires?  Why must we turn to the Russians?

*sigh*

Saturday was physically and emotionally draining, but in a good way.  I guest walked Louis and Eloise for Josh and Linza and those pups slept they night, yes they did.  Then I retuned home with Danielle in tow and we talked for a while before putting on "Adventures In Babysitting", a movie I hadn't seen in about 15 years but which I'd rented obsessively (as I did with a set of about 25 or 30 movies) when I was a kid.  I miss the formulaic "What could POSSIBLY go wrong NEXT???!?!?!?!?!?" comedies.  So predictable, so soft.  And there's this guy in it who is scary as fuck.  I believe Danielle made some comparison to an evil Steve Buchemi.  Christ he's frightening.

Finished Dollhouse and, although I'd dig a second season, you could almost see the cancellation of the show telegraphed on the actor's faces in the season finale.  Poor Joss Whedon...will Fox EVER stop ass raping him?

The Picnic is this Saturday and YOU HAD BETTER HOLD YOUR WATER, GOD! OR YOU'LL HAVE ME TO DEAL WITH!

That's that.

dance on

5.15.09

7:15 pm

No, you can NOT haz popular website!!1

Anyway, just watched the remake of "The Day The Earth Stood Still" last night. I'd never seen the original, but the heavy-handedness was unbearable at times. As was Will Smith's son. I fear what he will become... It is impressive, however, to see how Hollywood can keep finding roles in which Keanu Reeves doesn't act. His performance in Day made his performance in The Matrix look like his performance in Bill & Ted.

You with me?

Also, checked out the new Tori Amos and Eminem albums respectively.

Tori, Tori, Tori...I think her fire may be out. Except for maybe three or four interesting tracks (Give, Strong Black Vine, Police Me and the title track), the rest ranges from meh-ish to the soul scalding Adult Contemporary I thought she had turned away from with American Doll Posse.

But I was WRONG.

It's an all right Tori Amos album, but nothing really amazing there sadly.

And as for Eminem's first album in four years? He seems not to have changed much and although he is literally just turning up the Offend-O-Meter, it still works. He is still shocking without apparently trying while Marilyn Manson is just rambling on about the WEIRDEST shit. There is a song in which "Christopher Reeve" does a verse (complete with affected voice and neck tube noises) which includes the chorus "I guess it's time for you to hate me again" (Medicine Ball), a song in which he kidnaps, drugs, rapes and/or kills Britney Spears and Lindsey Lohan (Same Old Song and Dance) and just a plethora (literal definition of the word) of things that are so shocking they're funny. He's doing the same thing he's always done and, unless you didn't like that in 1998, he continues to do it well. But I have to admit that I am confused. The album is called "Relapse". On it he mentions that he was in rehab and is now back on drugs (namely Valium...a LOT of talking about Valium), that he's been clean for a year and that he never went to rehab. It doesn't keep me up and night, but, you know...what the fuck Marshall?

Had lunch with Jess and Danielle today. Never seen Danielle so happy. Dan has been an incredibly positive influence on her life it seems and that's awesome. Rock on, you two.

Meanwhile, Jess's Dave Man has just learned to sew humans in Doctor School.

Watch how this skill has NO EFFECT WHATSOEVER in Jessica Wade's very own Dead End.

Go absolutely fuck yourself, you maladjusted and frigid bitch.

5.14.09

7:09 pm

My faith may have been misplaced in Seattle Cafe...at least in their paninis.

Had an audition for Sunny D this morning.

They're still making Sunny D.

Way to go, guys.

In other news, Chris and I are but one hour and thirty five minutes away from the end of Battlestar Galactica (save one final made-for-TV movie coming out in November) and we're terrified of what may transpire.

After BSG, we may pick up the fifth season of Lost. May hopes are now that They have decided on an ending for the show, the shit will start to become less....annoying IS the right word, yes. And personally, I am four episodes away from the end of the first (of many hopefully) season on Joss Whedon's Dollhouse. They seem to be getting better as they progress... After that, I still have the new season of Rescue Me to get immersed in, but only after I've finished the last episode of Volume 3 of Heroes and the end of the 18th and totality of the 19th seasons of The Simpsons.

Busy busy busy.

Busy.

Facetious.

Then, I have Cake, TMBG and two Nine Inch Nails shows in two weeks. I've been somewhat good about not spoiling the setlists for NIN but from what I'm trying not to see, they have some CRAZY shit on there. Songs they haven't played in over 14 years and some they've never played at all. Literally a different show every night...for at least a few nights of course. They learned over 70 songs for this tour, plus some covers that...well...who gives a shit but me anyway.

It's going to be good. Just take comfort in the fact that I'll be enjoying myself. Not that I need to be at a NIN concert to enjoy myself, I'm enjoying myself right now, but I will enjoy myself even more so at the aforementioned concerts.

Yes.

And finally, Scorched Earth is MELTING the hours here. I am a sick, sick, lazy genius.

And please check in on RSPS and Dead Ends, as there has been new shit added that will help you to further get ur freak on.

Una TECATE LIGHT por Hombre del Pajaro!!

5.7.09

9:58 pm

Today worked out well.

I had to go back for a re-record of the Tecate Light thing from last week and found out I am getting paid double what I was told (nice) and, at one point, the guys in there needed me to do something deep but different than what I had been doing.

I asked what exactly they wanted and amidst the general muttering, one man said "Birdman".

I said, "Roll it."

I said the product name is the Gary Cole Birdman voice and actually received applause from the studio.

Things like this don't happen often and man was my ego swoll.

Felt pretty nice.

Afterwards, I got a call from the producer who wants to use me on an internal video his company is doing.

Double nice.

And finally, I have problems finding stuff to do here at work, as you know.

I also fell in love with a game called Scorched Earth back in 95.

Whenever I try to play it on my machine at home, it bugs up and closes.

Then I thought...the computers at work are about fifteen years old!

And guess what I've been doing for the last hour?

Oh hell yes.

I love this goddamn game.

Again, today worked out well.

All Typesa Shit

4.29.09

3:29pm

Why the hell are copy machines so BIG?

Seriously.

8:04pm

Also.

Garbage's "Supervixen" is a very hot song.

While I was on the Subway about and hour and a half ago, I heard a new system announcement about giving pregnant women your seat (as if you really have assholes that massive and puckering that wouldn't).  It ended with the line "Stand up for what's right".

Now, I have always said that I will give my seat to two types of people, the pregnant and the super elderly (unless they get pushy and stare at me like it's my fucking job to make sure they're sitting, they can go fuck themselves until they die in like a week or whatever).  And when I say "super elderly" I mean the shaking, milky-eyed old fucks who aren't even aware they're on the Subway, not those GODDAMNED ANNOYING 60-somethings that bring with them that sense of entitlement, that unspoken declaration that I OUGHT TO (not should, but OUGHT TO) surrender (and don't misunderstand, when you give a 62 year old woman your seat you are indeed surrendering) my seat to them.

Anyway, that capper, "stand for what's right", just made me think of a scenario that will, most likely, never happen:

A pushy pregnant woman gets on the train, sees me, stands in front of me and then asks for my seat, quoting the PA's last line.  I look at her, her distended belly, smile and say, "How do I know you're baby won't grow up to be the next Hitler."

It was a long train ride, give me a break.

And.

Just started reading "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies".

In the battle of Jane Austen Vs. Zombies, I am very sad to say that Ms. Austen is winning.

Not even zombies can make Jane Austen readable for me.

I am truly a heterosexual man.

Finally,

I got another booking today for tomorrow and there is an eels' line that's been bouncing around inside my head ever since:

"The psychic joy/of living in this world/is overwhelming me/again and again"

And I think I figured out why upbeat eels music is more powerful to me than upbeat other artists' music.

The fact that E as had SUCH amazing traumatic shit happen in his life and he is STILL ABLE to function just gives his upbeat stuff more weight and sincerity.

As in, if HE can go to sleep and wake up the next morning, I certainly can.

Beck has a lot of upbeat shit, but it can seem silly next to E's stuff.

Double ditto for TMBG.

Speaking of which, planning on seeing TMBG on Saturday, May 30th.

Anyone want to jump in my boat?

4.30.09
3:41pm

I...am all typesa tired.  It's a happy tired, a good tired, but a very tired tired nonetheless.  It's as if my soul had just had excellent, brain-shattering sex...with twins.

I woke at nine this morning (fuck you Daylighters, that's like waking up at 3am) and went to Chromavision (which is just as swathed in false grandeur as the name indicates) and recorded a radio spot for Tecate Light beer.  Which is, apparently, some kind of beer.

For the first time since the Burger King commercial, this was an actual script with me and this other guy, Matt, playing the roles.

It was just fun as hell and after a few takes, the guys in the booth (all six of them) wanted us to improv some stuff.  Man, did we improv.  Hopefully, this will be on the air in a few weeks and, even more hopefully, I will be able to get a copy and, if I'm lucky, some of the outtakes.  Afterwards, I had a boilerplate car insurance audition and it was...thrilling.  No wait...not thrilling is what  meant, but I sounded good and that's what the people up top pay no attention to.  In the bag, baby...in the bag.

There was a wonderful moment before the recording when I was standing on a corner, waiting for the light to change, alternately looking at the Flatiron and the Empire State Building; the weather was a perfect 60 something (not to be confused with the "60 something"mentioned in the previous post), the eels were telling me I'd better get out now or at least keep my eyes down, and everything was just Golden, you know?

God damn am I tired.

Unless I get mucho auditiones for manana, I plan to sleep lots this evening and tomorrow during the day, right up until 2ish.

Jub Jub.  

7:50pm

One final thing.

A few months ago, Britney Spears released a new album, Circus.  On it there was a track called "If You Seek Amy".  The chorus goes: love me/hate me/say what you want about me/but all the girls and all the boys/are begging to if you seek Amy.

Get it?

Eff yew cee kay me?

Fuck me?

Because people want to fuck Britney Spears?

Baby-bald vagina and all?

Yeah?

So, I was obviously shocked when today at Subway I heard, through my pop music-filtering headphones, the beginning of the song.  At first I thought, way to go America, loosening up you collective asshole, Obama 4 Ever, all right.  Then the chorus rolled around and something sounded a bit off.  Mind you, I was listening to a podcast and not really paying attention, but something snagged my ear.  I took off my headphones in order to hear it more clearly and here's what happened...they changed "if you seek Amy" to "if you see Amy".

Now, the chorus made very little sense to begin with, "begging to if you seek Amy"?  What the fuck does that mean?  But changing it to "if you see Amy" not only makes it complete and utter nonsense, but it removes what little teeth Britney (or whichever sweaty 50 year old pedo is writing her lyrics now) put into the song.  Britney, if you really think people want to fuck you, just get out there.  Lose the bodyguards and start fucking!  No one's stopping you but you!  You're willing to have your bare vagina lips photographed by complete strangers, why not put your money where your crotch is?  What are you, afraid?  And here I thought that EVERYBODY wanted to if you seek Ahew...

Quite frankly, when everybody wants to fuck you, you don't have to sing a song about that fact, you just know.

Trust me. 

You just know.