1.31.2012

End of the Month Music Bitchfest - January 2012

Happy New* Bitch.

Nine Inch Nails

Despite releasing the epic, amazing etc. etc. etc. Girl with the Dragon Tattoo score, Reznor and Ross were NOT nominated for an Oscar.
Which doesn't really matter because it was still released and is still amazing, but, you know, it feels good to know that other people enjoy good music as well.
Makes one feel like the world might not be ending in 530+ days.
But, let's look on the bright side: maybe he'll spend less time making music for films and more time making Nine Inch Nails music.
Apparently, the deluxe Fragile and the full length How To Destroy Angels album are coming out this year (the HTDA this quarter, according to things).
I'll believe it when I'm slamming them repeatedly into my earholes.

They Might Be Giants

Their final leg of the Join Us tour started on the 28th in Los Angeles at Royce Hall with a Lincoln show.
And I was there to see it.
It wasn't a full-on, front-to-back Lincoln show, but they played 14 of the 18 tracks off the album.
A few tracks I'd never heard which were pretty awesome live, and some that felt a bit slapdash.
All in all, for the show celebrating their very first live performance together, thirty years ago TO THE DAY in Central Park as El Groupa De Rock N Roll.the show was a bit of a let down.
I expected at least a full horn section, maybe some special guests, I don't know.but there was only Robin Goldwasser, who popped out to sing "Dr. Evil" and then Mark Pender, Conan's pet trumpet player.
And they are still fucking playing "Damn Good Times".
I will also be at the last show (according to Flans himself) of 2012, March 10th at Terminal 5.
And the rest of the year? Spent relaxing and raising their children?
"Fuck that," says the band, "we're going to write and record (and hopefully release) TWO brand new
albums (plus an EP by our puppet alter egos, the Avatars of They)!"
Here's hoping they have nothing to do with children.
The albums, not the band.
Although, as we've seen with certain bands named Nine Inch Nails, kids can REALLY fuck up an album release schedule.
Am I right or am I right or am I right???!!!
Yes.

Note: Okay, for 2012, I'm just going to cut back on the wasted energy and simply not write anything if the other three bands (Cake, Beck, and Eels) don't do anything.
A. It isn't like they'll happen to read this and then feel guilted into making music and B. I need to save my energy for my parkour training.

So, that said.

Beck

Beck remixed a Feist song.
And I took a huge shit the other day.
I'd rather listen to the latter.

Marilyn Manson.ha ha ha.
Never you mind about Marilyn Manson.

Just a few days ago, Garbage launched their new site.
So far, they have posted a sort of mission statement, some tour dates (all festivals and non-U.S. dates) a teaser for the new album, which now has a title and a release date.
The new Garbage album, the first in seven years, will be titled "Not Your Kind Of People" and will be released on their own label on May 15th.
W00t.
The band keeps saying that it sounds like their first two albums without sounding like their first two albums.so yeah.
Apparently, we're going to hear their first, as-of-yet-untitled single in January.which didn't happen.
At least not in this quantum eventuality.

Nothing from Tweaker, either, although, I forget if I already "reported" this, but Vrenna has officially left the greasy, undertalented clutches of Marilyn Manson.
Halle-fucking-lujah.
Here's hoping they've got something good to show us.and soon.

And, now, an addition to the list of bands/artists that aren't in my top five but who I am looking forward to their next release list.Damon Albarn.
Here's my brief history with regards to Mr. Albarn.
I liked one or two Blur songs, then listened to their greatest hits collection then liked three or four of their songs.
I liked one or two songs off of the first Gorillaz album and then the majority of the second Gorillaz album and then I liked Damon Albarn.
One of the reasons I like him, even if I don't love every one of his many, many solo and side projects is that he is clearly an artist who is doing what he wants and having a great, goddamned time doing it.
Blur? Whatever.
But then he created a band with artist Jamie Hewlett based on the concept of how fake the industry is.
Not only that, but he's taken things so far with Gorillaz that they've become a world wide phenomenon, bigger than Blur will EVER be.and they don't really exist.
Then there's the aforementioned other projects, such as The Good, the Bad and the Queen, the music for the stage play, "Monkey: Journey To The West", the opera written about Doctor John Dee called "Doctor Dee", the recently released DRC (Democratic Republic of the Congo) Music collaboration, "Kinshasa One Two" which was recorded in Kinshasa in five days with a slew of Congolese musicians and some huge ass producers including Dan the Automator, Richard Russell, Marc Antoine, Jneiro Jarel, T-E-E-D (Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs) and Kwes.
And, something I recently discovered by accident,; a project he did back in 2002 called "Mali Music"
with a group of Malian musicians.
It's some of the most interesting, rich and textured music I've heard in a while.
Some of it would fit perfectly on the next Gorillaz album, whenever and whatever that might be.
Then there's his upcoming project, Rocketjuice and the Moon, a funk side project consisting of him, Tony Allen and Flea.
Yeah.
This guy is having fun.
And listening to him is fun so, bang on, Damon Albarn; I look forward to what comes next from you.
I also highly recommend checking out that "Mali Music" album. The music ranges from dusty and atmospheric (like the unsettling ghost waltz sound of "Spoons", which reminds me of a darker version of that huge ballroom scene from the Magic Kingdom's Haunted Mansion ride), to happy-walk-through the-jingle-with-a-friendly-sloth-holding-a-coconut jaunty ("Le Hogon"), to very Gorillaz-esque melancholy ("Sunset Coming On" ).
Check it out, you've not heard anything like it before.

All righty.
Welcome to the New Year.
It still sounds like Bitch..

*Old

1.23.2012

It's Been A While

Fuck you, Staind.
You've managed to ruin a phrase that people say all the time.
Also, your name is misspelled and you sound like a MORE awful Limp Bizkit.
But, hey, at least Fred Durst died from that exploded appendix...the one I sent him that was full of hand grenades and needles covered in hep-C.
So, Happy New Year after all, I suppose.

I have been in quite a busy state.
The Grind Show audio book project, which has sort of had no real deadline, suddenly has a very hard, very real, very fast-approaching deadline.
But, after a solid weekend of rerecording and editing, I am almost done.
I need to edit my rerecord of chapter 2 (the original chapter was not as action packed as it should have been) and then, barring some huge, computer-related cataclysm, the Grind Show audio book is finished.
Cannot WAIT for people to hear this...
More information coming soon.


Then there is my upcoming trip to Los Angeles.
I'll be attending They Might Be Giants' 30th anniversary concert, seeing a recording of Jay and Silent Bob Get Old (as will Will's lovely wife, Diana, who, thanks to Will, has NO IDEA what she is in for) and, hopefully hanging out with Grahme Skipper and Dan Delgado, he of the terrifying, knobbly word cock.
When I return, I will be a mere four days from my 31st birthday party...which will feature liquid...motherfucking...nitrogen.
There will also be other awesome science things to do.
I plan to wear a lab coat and quote Portal all evening.

When I find the time, I have been playing my copy of the Metal Gear Solid HD collection which has cleaned up, prettier versions of MGS 2, MGS 3 and MGS Peace Walker.
I've always loved these games, but was reminded of why after playing Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater, the first, chronologically speaking, Metal Gear game.
The depth to these games is...incredible...
The entire series is based, not on running in guns blazing, but in staying hidden.
You can potentially, if you're amazing and Japanese, play every single game in the series without being seen by the enemy and by taking them out with non-lethal force.
It requires skill and patience, but it's possible, and you're rewarded for both.
And then there is the story...
I'm planning on playing the whole series in order just to get a clearer pictuire at the ridiculously convoluted, super-Japanese plotline.
I say "clearer picture" because that's really all you can get when it comes to Metal Gear.
That should carry me into 2013 nicely...

Aside from reliving my fondest tactical stealth action memories, Chris and I have been watching the sixth season of Dexter, which, despite the inclusion of such television and movie stars as Tom Hank's son and Commander Adama from BSG, was really awful.
Except for the last thirty seconds.
Again, if you want something cool, just watch the last thirty second of Dexter, season six.
With the events of that thirty seconds, season seven promises to be good.
HAS to be. 

Along with all this, I've recorded some VO for new friend/collaborator, Phil Maniaci, who was a co-producer "Bitter Sweet", the short film that was too scary for Steve Buscemi, rerecorded some Lenovo VO for TransPerfect and, tomorrow, I have my third session with Speakaboos, in which I will finish where I left off in my recording of the alphabet.
I was on "G".
Which stands for "green".
The color, not the fad.

Very exciting times.
Very exhausting, exciting times.

1.10.2012

The Most Interesting Voice We've Ever Heard

A few days ago, I was contacted for an audition which, due to my recent illness, I was unable to attend.*
Here's what the client was looking for:

The most interesting voice we’ve ever heard. He’s likeable and authentic. Distinct. Masculine. Confident. Comfortable in his own skin. Someone you look up to. A storyteller.

The most interesting voice we've ever heard.
While I know the client (it's a very mainstream product for very mainstream people) and their previous ad work (it's fucking everywhere all the time in New York), I'm not going to say the name, just in case, but, one thing I will say: in the end, this ad will not feature the most interesting voice anyone has ever heard.
But, Paul, they said they were looking for the most interesting voice they've EVER heard! It's right there in the spec!!!
Yes, Other Me I'm Making Sound Like An Idiot For The Purpose Of Proving My Point, I know, but, you have to understand, when people like this say something like that, they don't mean interesting to everyone, they mean interesting to their trudging, brain-dead demographic.
So, if one were to go in with a for-real-and-true interesting voice, these folks would probably grimace, say "weeeeeird-ooooo" and move on (after high fiving in assent).
Not that I consider my voice interesting. I believe it can do some interesting things, but I've never had anyone say "you have an interesting voice".
It's deep and rich like buttered sex leather (I actually have gotten that before) but I would not say it's interesting.
Crispin Glover has an interesting voice.
Alan Rickman has an interesting voice.
Emo Philips has an interesting voice.
But the idea of any of these actors doing a voice over for THIS company?
I can feel their wallets shriveling at the thought of trying anything so...risky.
God forbid that someone other than their demographic thinks something they do is interesting! Why, that might get them more customers and what kind of business wants that?!
More money? Thank you, sir, but, no, we'll do just fine with our brand of not-actually-interesting interesting.
Another hint as to how this will not, in any way, be interesting: all the words in that description: "likeable", "authentic", "distinct", "masculine", etc. are what's known as "bullshit".
These words appear in almost every voice over description out there (along with my top three favorites: "warm", "friendly" and "not announcery").
You see where I'm going with this?
How are you going to do something interesting if you only use old and tired buzz words?
There's no math to it...
Anyway, I can't wait to see what these guys think of for "the most interesting voice they've ever heard".
I'm willing to bet you'll forget this commercial before it's even over.


* But please believe me when I promise you this is not a "sour grapes" thing by any means. I go on enough auditions to not let these things bother me.

1.06.2012

PANIC, a new ARG

I tweeted this morning, from my bed, that everyone should live each day as if it were their last…before the Zombie Apocalypse.
I began to reflect on said thought and came up with a fun new game for people to play in 2012.
I call it Panic.

Every ambulance that speeds by you contains the first victim of the Zombie Outbreak.
Every phone call is a loved one, beleaguered by hordes of the shambling undead.
Every noise you hear in your darkened home, a hideous creature seeking nothing more than to tear out and consume your brains.

You know how you wake up, have your coffee, check your goddamn iPhone then trundle off to work?
You know how you moan and wail about how sad and staid your life is on your various social networking sites?
I guaran-fucking-tee this will stop as soon as you adopt this new way of looking at life.
Guaran-fucking-tee.

So, give it a try.
It’s about 4:00 on a Friday, play until Saturday, see how it goes.
If you like it, keep playing, if not, forget I mentioned it.

It’s called Panic.
And it will change your life.

1.01.2012

YEAR IN BITCH - 2011

Nine Inch Nails

All in all, it's been a year of waiting for Nine Inch Nails fans.
Waiting for a new NIN album (a new Ghosts album, a follow up to Year Zero or something completly different*), the full length How To Destroy Angels album (originally set for release in January 2011), the release of the deluxe edition of 1999's "The Fragile" (teased and hinted at for the past half a decade), the release of the HD footage of the last Nine Inch Nails live shows back in September 2009 (videos for two songs was put up in December 2010 and January 2011, on Christmas and New Year's respectivly) and, of course, the score for David FIncher's remake of "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo", which was annouced around the 2010 Oscars.
And what did Nine Inch Nails fans get?
A cover of a U2 song, a minor addition to a Robbie Robertson track and the aforementioned score.
True, the score is massive, containing music that expresses a myriad of emotions and works in perfect tandem with FIncher's images, a frozen masterpiece, the U2 cover is cool and Robbie Robertson...continues to make music, but, was this a good year for Nine Inch Nails fans?
It really depends on who you ask.
Fans who remember that five year drought between 1994's "The Downward Spiral" and 1999's "The Fragile" (curse you, drug and alcohol addiciton!!!) and the six year drought between 1999's "The Fragile" and 2005's "With Teeth" (curse you, drug and alcohol addiciton rehabilitation!!!) will probably be quick to say it was an excellent year as something Reznor created (with the help of 12 Round's Atticus Ross, of course) came out, but newer fans, say, those who stepped on board in 2007 and experienced a globe-spanning, mind-bending ARG leading up to the advent of "Year Zero", then the release of the 36-track instrumental work, "Ghosts I-IV" and then, mere months later, "The Slip", a free, full-length album created in ten weeks and released less than 24 hours after the final track was mixed on the official Nine Inch Nails web site as "a thank you to the fans"**, might feel a bit let down.
Personally?
I don't know.
Will I ever be truly satisfied when it comes to Nine Inch Nails or, for that matter, any of the bands I really dig?
I was satisfied after "The Fragile", but there was so much to it, and, while his instrumental and score work is really groundbreaking stuff, it's instrumental and I do like me some vocals...
I stand by my belief that if "Ghosts I-IV" or the Dragon Tattoo score had lyrics, they would be the best Nine Inch Nails albums ever.
But, as we all know, I'm a glutton.
So, you know what? No, I'm not 100% satisfied with Nine Inch Nails' productivity this year; yes, the Dragon Tattoo score is incredible and every other adjective the reviewers are using and will continue using for the rest of time, but it's not Nine Inch Nails.
It didn't come from Trent Reznor.
It came from Steig Larsson.
And Atticus Ross.
And David FIncher.
And How To Destroy Angels isn't Trent Reznor either.
It's Atticus and Mariqueen and whatever else was bouncing around in their heads at the time.
I want more Nine Inch Nails.
So hit me, Trent.
Stop fucking around and hit me.

In a recent interview with Zane Lowe of the BBC, Reznor said three things which are going to make 2012 worth it for me:

1. The full length How To Destroy Angels album is coming out in the first few months of the year.
2. The next release from Nine Inch nails will be the long, loooooong awaited Fragile deluxe edition.
3. 2012 is all about writing new Nine Inch Nails music.which probably means no new NIN until 2013, but short of kidnapping his son.Lazarus Echo (not a joke, that is what he and his wife chose to name their first born son), well, I guess we let the man work.
A bit of potential light at the end of this tunnel.if the Year Zero mini-series is still happening (and no one has given any reason for people to think it's not), this new music might be to accompany the show.in other words Year Zero 2.
So, if the Apocalypse can wait just a few more months, we might get a vchance to hear how everything turns out.
Here's hoping.

Beck

Beck...has had a sleepy year.
He produced a lot of stuff and did a handful of concerts and maybe thought about putting out that trunk album, "Rococo", that he's had lying around...but, other than that?
Fuck all.
Vacation's over, you vacant-eyed Nordic fuck.
Get your shit together, pull your insanely talented musical cock out of everyone else's pot pies and MAKE SOME MOTHERFUCKING MUSIC.


Cake

Compared to the last seven years? This year was all hurricanes and earthquakes for these smug sons of bitches. Next year looks to be another snoozer though.

Unless you want to prove me wrong, you sun-child-hippy-ball-bags.?


They Might Be Giants

2011 featured TMBG's triumphant return to "adult" music. And it's about fucking time. Not since "No!" has They Might Be Giants had a good children's' album. Personally, I blame Disney and their constraints, but enough about kid's music, as it seems they're done with that for a while.
Thankfully.
In July, TMBG released "Join Us", which, for some reason, people seem to consider a return to their roots although there is very little accordion or screaming and the full band is featured on practically every track. If John and John were to truly return to their roots, I believe it would involve the two of them in a shitty little Brooklyn studio with a drum machine.
Anyway, along with "Join Us", the band released a companion/rarities album called "Album Raises New And Troubing Questions" which has some leftover tracks from
"Join Us", some reinterpretations, live tracks and other bits and pieces. On top of those two full album releases, they've been touring most of the year.
Gentlemen, whether or not I love your new material, you have performed excellently this year and salute you.
And, just a week or so ago, Flansburgh posted that, aside from more tourhing in 2012, the band plans to record ANOTHER new album.
THAT is what I'm fucking talking about.
Best of luck, guys.
Keep making it rock.


Eels

Compared to the last few years, a rigorous world tour almost seems light for E, but, as I witnessed one evening of pure brainmelting rock in Williamsburg, I can't attest to the fact that when this man wants to work, he works.
Not sure how many times I can reiterate this, but, after the three-albums-in-fourteen-months miracle paired with the extensive touring.well, as long as we see some action by Q2 2012, I'll be happy.
Hey, Other Bands I Like, you should all take a page from E's book and kick it up a notch.
Just saying.

Meanwhile, this has been an awesome for kick ass women making kick ass music.

There was P.J. Harvey's "Let England Shake" which, despite my meh reaction to most of it, is still a very interesting piece of work with a great concept behind it.
Lot of creepy stuff on here.

Also, crazy hot honey/smoke singer Lykke Li had her second album, "Wounded Rhymes" which was morose and ass-shaking and alien.
I've said everything I will about this record and it's all good, so check it out.

Then, separated by about a week, St. Vincent's excellent follow up to her excellent second album, "Strange Mercy" and Tori Amos's return to making good music with "Night of Hunters", a sprawling, twisty tale about.night.and hunters.and botany.

TV On The Radio also released their amazing "Nine Types of Light", which, it seems didn't really appeal to the critics, but then their bass player died and everyone felt bad.
So take from that what you will.

Overall, I'd say this was a pretty great year for music.

Even if every one of my favorite bands didn't produce (and I mean "produce" as in "create", not "produce" is in "sit in on some other artist's session and occasionally strum an acoustic guitar or press a button", Beck, you lazy fucker.) anything.

* A collaboration with the remaining members of Monty Python perhaps?

**All this interspersed with extensive touring around the world.