12.31.2013

End of the Month Music Bitchfest - December 2013

Nine Inch Nails

As expected, Nine Inch Nails announced a full Blu Ray/DVD/digital release for their !!TENSION!! tour video (coming in April 2014), two thirds of which you can watch, right now, for free and in HD.
For those who have seen it, shit, watch it again, it's fucking spectacular.
For those who haven't, see above.
Here's the link: nine inch nails tension

Also, Hesitation Marks received a nomination for Best Alternative Album in the 2014 Grammys.
And Trent could not give less of a fuck.


They Might Be Giants

TMBG have announced that 2014 will be about creating music and not about playing music. They're planning on recording and releasing TWO new albums*. Is there any chance that the new "adult" album will be better than or as good as Nanobots? Only time will tell.


Beck

Well, here's a funny thing.
According to some lucky cockmouth at Rolling Stone who's already fucking heard it because it's been done for months, there is a new Beck album.***
It's coming in February and it has a title, Morning Phase.
It's not a "sequel" to Sea Change, but it seems to sound like one.
Also, it's the second full album Beck has completed since 2008's Modern Guilt, the other one (which was compared to Odelay, most likely the one he was going to call Rococo before some other band had a album with a song of the same title on it and Beck became as shy as a teenager at junior prom) has been named as the source of some of those random tracks that have popped up on vinyl throughout the year, specifically "Gimme" and "I Won't Be Long" AND, Beck said, he hopes to release the whole album in that form.
So it looks like I will, as it turns out, be purchasing a Beck album for a hundred dollars or so.
Such bittersweet rage inside me right now...like a candy bar on fire.
But, fuck it.
I wanted new Beck and I'm getting new Beck.
Woo ha!
You can check out all the stuff I just told you about, but in much more pretentious music journalist detail here.


NEW ST. VINCENT SONG AND TOUR AND ALBUM!!!!!! The album's called St. Vincent, the tour starts in New York on February 26th (the day after the album drops) and the new song, "Birth In Reverse" is here. So very, very excited for this. Her album with David Byrne, Love This Giant, was one of my favorites of 2012 and I can't wait to see what touring with him for a year has done to her sound.

I also just learned about a new Tori Amos album coming in May 2014 titled Unrepentant Geraldines.
Nothing more than that at the moment, but, if her last few releases have been any indication, it's going to be some impenetrable, brave and epic stuff.

NEXT UP: The Small Handful Of Music I Did Not Hate This Year





* Although, since one is going to be a children's album, I'm not really counting that.**

** Unless it's a follow up to No! and not another Disney-funded baby fart.

*** Written by, recorded by, produced by and even FEATURING Beck!

12.10.2013

Video Game Mouthful

I've finally had some time to play some goddamn video games over the past few months and I know you'd just fucking die if I didn't write about them so you could read my thoughts and feelings regarding them.
So, you're welcome.
Parasite.

Deadpool
When rumors of a Deadpool game sprouted up a few years ago, my reaction was the same as it is every time I hear about something I love going into a new medium: don't fuck it up.
Jump ahead.
After the first trailer for the Deadpool game came out and people started ripping it apart, I was let down, but, I decided to reserve judgement until it was out and the people who were huge into Deadpool (like myself) had gotten their hands on it.
Long story short: they nailed the character, 100%. The writing and the voice (Nolan North, a man I aspire to be) were just spot on. I enjoyed the cameos and, while I bit abrupt, they decided to go with a Deadpool ending to a Deadpool game, and I respect that.
At times, the game got in the way of itself and I was a bit disappointed at how easy it was to kill Deadpool (his healing factor is more aggressive than Wolverine's y'all, **insert tooth suck noise**, but they did a really solid job and I would happily go in for a sequel. I'm hoping the game also served to show how much people really want a Deadpool movie and, based on the whispers of the upcoming X-Force film, I think it may have worked.
Ron Perlman as Cable
Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool
Uma Thurman as Domino
We all set?
Good.

GTA V
But first I finally played those two DLC packs from GTA IV, "We Like Sons of Anarchy" and "Yeah, I Guess We Could Make Something Else Up...What About Something Where The Lead Character is Latino And There Is A Gay Guy?".
Here's what happens every time a new GTA comes out (since GTA 3, anyway): I shrug and pay peripheral attention (we all know I'm going to get it), then, as it gets closer and those cinematic trailers start coming out, showing off how beautiful the devs have made it, I get a little more tingly, then, it's released, gets called the best game ever and I buy it.
I play it, am blown away by the graphical improvements, take note of how they are trying, consciously, not to do the same stuff they did in the previous games and then, after finishing the campaign and getting let down by how the payoff is never worth time I invested in it, finish a few more things here and there and then I'm over it.
History does, indeed, repeat itself.
I liked the game a lot, and those graphics and details really are astonishing. The ability to switch between three characters really helped keep things fresh too. Michael's and Trevor's plots were the most interesting although did anyone else notice that there wasn't any resolution between Trevor and Michael? They just sort of decided not to kill each other.
Overall, everything about it was great (although isn't it time for a custom radio station? In this age of Sirius XM and Spotify and all that, wouldn't it make sense in the world of GTA?), but, again, like GTA 3, Vice City (which had the best radio, hands down), San Andreas and GTA IV, once I'd finished what I was going to finish (maybe...87.6% completion when I put it down?), it fell off my radar completely.
I suppose that's natural and, depending on what else is coming out that you're looking forward to, the speed with which one forgets a game can differ, but, still, I yearn...
I'm pretty certain that, by the time any single player DLC comes out (in March or so), I'll have completely lost interest, although I might pick up said DLC and check it out before the next GTA iteration arrives.
I will say I am totally stoked about a next-gen GTA.

Spelunky
Okay. First of all, fuck this game.
How can explain this to you non-gamers who aren't reading this....so, there's this game, Demon's Souls, where you play until you die, you only have one life and there are enemies that can kill you in one hit. From point A to point B, you kill things and gather souls as currency. When you die, all the souls you've collected remain where you last died. If you can reach that point again, you get all those souls back, but, if you die before you reach the place where you last died, you lose those souls and all progress.
Short version: you could play the game for three hours, make two mistakes, and it will have been as if you haven't played the game at all.
Sort of like blacking out from drinking, but, with drinking, at least you may have hooked up with someone.
This game is fiercely defended by certain gamers (one could call them sado-masochists) and, in some circles, is considered a game-changing work.
I borrowed it from a friend, Jim, one of those sado-masochists), played for three hours and then made two mistakes, thus making it seem as if I had not played at all. I set down the controller, removed the disc from my PS3, put it back in its case and set it aside.
It was either that or, literally, throw the PS3, controller and TV out the window.
One or the other.
To put it in Jim's words: you need to learn the rules of the game. Every mistake is yours. If you don't pay attention and follow those rules, you will die.
Spelunky is like that, but worse.
One can win this game in less than ten minutes. If you are quick, yet cautious and pay attention to your surroundings.
There are twelve levels in the normal game, four in the mines, four in the jungle, four in the ice caves and four in the temple. Twelve. You need to get from the top of the screen to the bottom, where there is an exit. You have four hit points but can do stuff to get more, but it takes a little effort.
The longest game I've play has been about fourteen minutes. The shortest, less than three seconds.
I have never won this game.
Fuck this game.
I will pick it up again someday.
I can't explain this to you.


The Last Five Call of Duty games (before Ghosts)

So, the next generation has arrived.
I guess.
I don't plan on giving a shit until Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes comes out in the spring.
But, as the next generation was starting, people were making lists.
Lists of the best games of this generation, and one of the best games of the generation, according to Kotaku, was Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare.
All I knew of this game was all I really knew of all COD games: first person military shooter, multiplayer lousy with immature, racist, pothead bros.
In other words: not for me.
It takes a lot to get me into an FPS. A really great story (the Bioshock series) or something that isn't running around and shooting dudes (Condemned), but, ten million Elvis fans can't be wrong, right?
So, I went out to my local Gamestop and plunked down three dollars for a used copy of COD4:MW.
I played an SAS recruit named "Soap" MacTavish.
As he never spoke a word, a common and lazy choice when creating an FPS and yet another reason I find them boring as fuck, I did not give a shit whether he lived or died.
I also played an Army Ranger named...something patriotic and generic...Steve Jackson. At one point, a terrorist detonated a nuclear device in Afghanistan, and your Ranger character dies.
Like, for real.
That was a first and was somewhat interesting, but, again, he never said a word and just followed folks around mostly, so I really didn't care.
Long story short (the game was very short, about five or six hours), bad Russian dude who was behind the nuke attack launches some nuclear missiles which get blown up before they hit and "Soap" MacTavish saves the day.
On the whole, nothing really blew me away, it was short as fuck but cheap as dirt and kind of fun, and, as I do like me a game franchise with a universe, I decided to pick up Modern Warfare 2.
This was more interesting; the stakes were raised and things got a lot more global. There is a mission where you're running through a burning, powerless Washington D.C. and I got that same rush as I did when I saw the ruins of D.C. in Fallout 3 for the first time: something about seeing a monument or location you know and that has always been there in complete and utter disarray...it's effective.
This time, you play as "Roach", who, like "Soap" never says a fucking word, although, now that you aren't controlling "Soap" he's talkative as fuck, Scottish, if you can believe it.
Maybe he was just shy as a rookie?
Anyway, Modern Warfare 2 ends with a cliffhanger and, since the third game was pretty much just as cheap, I went ahead and pulled the trigger.
The opening of the third game is great: we're involved in a full blown world war with the Russians and you start off as a (completely silent) member of Delta Force, taking back the New York Stock Exchange from the Russians, then getting involved in a fucking helicopter battle above the city. They seem to have reached the perfect height of spectacle in this one.
Eventually, "Soap" dies and you avenge his death as super badass SAS bloke, Captain Price.
Much like Batman, I feel bad as Price because I'm not good at these games.
Aside from the three Modern Warfare games, I also checked out the two Black Ops games.
In the first BO games, you have a character with a face and a voice! It's so goddamn refreshing that I was almost able to forgive how fucking awful this guy's American accent was. Did they absolutely NEED to cast an Australian actor for this? Jesus. It's all over the place. If this was going to happen with the silent protagonists, maybe it's better they stay silent...
I don't blame the actor (Sam Worthington) though, I blame the fucking director.
I'm a voice actor and when shit sounds awful, it's his job to stop you and say, gently yet firmly, "Sam, you know, we got a lot of Aussie on that last one, could we do another?"
Actors should obey their directors.
As for the story: it was gummy, convoluted and 90% flashback.
Oh, and they imply that you were brainwashed and killed Kennedy.
The sequel to this takes place in 2025 with you as the son of Sam Worthington with Merle from Walking Dead as your BFF and Tony Todd as your commanding officer, in perhaps one of the most overacted roles of his life. The only explanation I can think of is that, because they couldn't see him he thought he would have to act extra hard with his voice?
Again: it's the director's job to explain why that doesn't make any fucking sense.
The weapons are cool because it's the future but, after five of these games, I really found myself losing interest.
In the end, even though the characters were all complete zeroes, I liked the alternate history craziness of Modern Warfare over the pseudo-Fight Club shit of Black Ops.
Might be done with military shooters for the rest of my life.

Batman: Arkham Origins
I loved Arkham Asylum. The story and the game play and everything about it.
It has become the definitive Batman game.
The sequel, Arkham City, took things to the next level, made things open world. There was much more to do, more villains, more stories, more everything.
Some folks thought it was trying to do too much and defer to the original as being the better game.
The third game, Arkham Origins, which is a prequel, taking place after Batman has been Batmanning for two years in Gotham, focuses on his first encounter with the Joker, as well as eight assassins who have been hired by Black Mask on Christmas Eve to kill Batman.
The general consensus was that this is more of the same of what we got from Arkham City, sometimes using some of the exact same environments, but not as good since the studio that did the first two didn't handle this one.
That is pretty accurate.
But, like I said, I loved the first two games and the Batman universe, so I liked this one as well.
While the character designs are great (the designers always try to do something different with the look of the characters, not relying too heavily on the cartoons or the comics or the movies) and the voice acting was really solid (they did not get Kevin Conroy for Batman, but chose to go with a younger sounding guy, nor did they go with Mark Hamill as Joker, but rather an 70% soundalike), I did have a few problems; such as the fact that no one else seemed to be meeting Batman for the first time except for the Joker. I also thought there would something about Batman's origins, but, nope. the game starts with Batman finding out about the assassins and then going to town.
I can see some thin spots here, for instance, how close the fight with Copperhead was to the fight with Ra's al Ghul in Arkham City, how they keep finding ways to poison Batman so they can do something "interesting" with the gameplay and how I spend hours in every one of these fucking games finding every fucking Riddler trophy / datapack / Anarky tag / Cyrus Pinkney plaque because I have a touch of OCD.
Honestly, I felt bad playing this game because I'm a terrible Batman, something that is only sometimes my fault.
Here are some things that defeated Batman in this game: water, steam (there wasn't any ice in this game, but I'm sure that would have been just as victorious over the Dark Knight as in its other forms), wind (instead of just having invisible walls, whenever he gets too close to a boundary, they have a strong gust of wind push him back. A strong gust of wind. This fucking guy beat Superman on numerous occasions), and the one foot gap between the top of a billboard and a roof.
I also loved how, when a guy with a gun spots Batman, rather than rushing in and fucking breaking his face while he's standing there, shocked at the mere presence of the Batman, Batman decides, rather, that it would be a better idea to do the Skanking Pickle and punch the air like a fussy toddler.
Game designers: when you are five feet from a guy with a gun and he turns around and sees you, when you press the attack button, Batman should attack the guy with the gun, not have a dance party.
You fucks.
Then there's Batman's inability to grapnel when you fucking need him too.
HE'S BATMAN GOD DAMN IT. HE CAN GRAPNEL WHERE AND WHEN HE WANTS.
But, that's the rub when it comes to making a Batman video game...it's still a video game. There are invisible walls and inaccessible places and all that. I just wish they would hide it better instead of taking it out of fucking Batman.
Plus, all the cliffhangers were toothless.
There's a point where Alfred dies...until, ten seconds later Batman saves him...because Alfred can't die in the prequel if he's in the later games.
Then there's Bane finding out who you are...until he takes a chemical that is like super Venom...but it causes memory loss.
Really?
Memory loss?
Or maybe this was allll a dream.
And there has GOT to be a way to make collecting all those fucking datapacks (there were two hundred...and I collected them ALL) worth it. An empty fucking room and a little collectible thing worth 100000 XP?
I ALREADY HAVE ALL THE FUCKING XP FOR COLLECTING EVERYTHING THAT ALLOWED ME TO GET TO THIS FUCKING THING!
Christ.
Anyway, aside from all that...good times.
Can't wait for that Suicide Squad game.

Batman: Arkham City
Origins made me hungry for Arkham City, so I played through that again. Hands down, a better and more interesting game than Origins. I don't know if it's because Origins is a prequel, a thing that will, inherently, never be a good thing or because of Kevin Conroy and the best Joker performance Mark Hamill has ever given or the story and the ending or what but, yeah. Arkham City wins.
I played the New Game Plus, where you start with all your stuff from the previous playthrough and, let me tell you, being able to play a Batman game without having to give a shit about getting any of those fucking Riddler trophies is endless bliss, on the other hand, all those fights without the counter indicator made things a lot more frustrating, especially the fucking ninjas...AM I RIGHT?!?!?!!?
Some highlights I had forgotten: the Clayface fight, the Mr. Freeze fight, every time the Joker speaks, the random thug chatter you pick up drifting around the city, the implications Azrael brings and Nolan North's Penguin.
Very keen to see what Rocksteady has coming up next.

And, what now, you scream, silently?
Well, I have a stockpile of games to keep me sweaty until the PS4 gets streaming capabilities, and a handful of games I want to check out that are now cheaper.

Here they are (along with the reasons I'm probably going to just play Arkham Asylum or City again instead):

Far Cry 3 (it's an FPS, an intriguing one, but an FPS nonetheless. I'm off them for a while. And, yes, I've heard of and played the demo for Blood Dragon. Again, fun stuff, but FPS no no no!!!!)

Beyond: Two Souls (I've heard it's more like a long, interactive movie and riddled with cheap gameplay. But, as it's short, I might check this out next)

The Last Of Us (heard amazing things, but also that it is pitch black, both in tone and in luminescence)

Ashura's Wrath (heard a lot of good stuff; fun, not too much of a time commitment and that it's basically a series of ridiculous QTEs)

Assassins Creed III (story is slow, protagonist is bland as pap and I'm honestly fucking done with this series)

Deadly Premonition (basically Twin Peaks the video game. I've heard the controls (and, from some sources, that the game itself) are horrible.)

Shadows of the Damned (off the wall weird and adult action, gets old fast)

Hitman: Absolution (with all Hitman games, I tend to nail the first few missions, silent assassin like a mofo, but then, shit gets too hard and I give up, just killing everything I can before turning to a FAQ. Plus, the fucking storyline of this franchise seems totally borked. Let's get some continuity here folks! There's also some of that Batman thing where I feel bad at being so awful, this guy, Agent 47 is a SUPER ASSASSIN, but I'll probably try and stab a guy using a dog or something. Also, I get annoyed with the whole, oh, you quietly killed a guy on the fourth floor? Well, now fucking everyone in the building knows about it.  These dicks aren't part of the hive mind, you lazy goddamn programmers!)

Deus Ex: Human Revolution Need to sit down and finish this. This was another one that was supposed to be amazing so I bought it on the cheap. Didn't know it was an FPS which totally bummed me out. A lot more interesting that any of the COD stuff, but, again, fucking FPS. I might just slog my way through it as, the last time I played it (months ago), the Illuminati were named as the antagonists in it. Which is awesome. Hail Discordia!!!

Ugh.
Look at all that.
This is valuable time I could have spent playing video games.
You dicks.


12.05.2013

A review of tweaker's "And Then There's Nothing"


























According to Chris Kniker, close friend to both Jesse Hall and Chris Vrenna, as well as one of the producers of And Then There's Nothing, the intention was to make a Further Down The Spiral to Call The Time Eternity's The Downward Spiral.*

In my black-and-white, cold-and-hard, quantifying mind, remixes fall into four categories: those that work, those that don't, those that are the aural equivalent of a poop-filled condom in a baby's crib and those that redefine, augment or improve upon the original, those that bring a new perspective to it and explore aspects perhaps either hidden or merely implied.
That stated, I've broken down the deluxe edition (which has five more tracks than the standard version, totaling twenty one) of And Then There's Nothing into those four categories.


Those That Work

I'm going to do my best to not focus on Jessicka's awful, tough-girl whisper-talking vocals on the five versions of "Nothing At All" contained within, but rather the sonic beds that support these awful, tough-girl whisper-talking vocals.
I'm not going to try, but I'll promise to try.

First up, the Gary Numan remix which, aside from those vocals I might or might not have mentioned, could have been a demo from Splinter (not quite an album track as it's lacking something, maybe some stronger guitar). The chorus has the same liquid metal synths as used on "Here In The Black" and it sounds excellent, further establishing the FDTS feel.

The next attempt to make these vocals just a little better has been tasked to Front Line Assembly and holy fork do they do a great job. I love the edge on this mix; it's brutal, mechanical, and the softness of Addams voice thrown into this sonic morcellator is something unique, an excellent electro industrial composition.

The fourth and almost final remix of "Nothing At All" comes courtesy of Erie Loch of Exageist, LUXT and Blownload. This is the "Exageist Mix". People unfamiliar with Exageist might think this sounds a bit like Skrillex, but darker in some places and lighter in others. They wouldn't be wrong. As much as the Gary Numan remix of NAA sounds like something from his new album, this sounds like something from Semi Auto Erotic (Exageist's debut album). If you like dark, dubstep electronics, then this might be you favorite version of "Nothing At All".

If any of these mixes had just taken out the verses and kept the chorus (when she's actually singing as opposed to asserting breathily), I would like them a heck of a lot more.
Or if Watts had gotten to lay his meaty hands on the original.
Tee hee.

The Dave "Rave" Ogilvie** and Colin Janz "Grounded" mix has a fresh, futuristic, Asian lounge feel to it, a pretty drastic departure from the dark, throbby original. While it doesn't really fit with the overall theme of the album, it's a solid mix, very light.

KMFDM's "Areas Of The Brain" has more darkness than the original; the inmates loose and destroying the blinding white, antiseptic asylum of the album version. This remix is all broken metal jags and old blood covered bonesaws. Almost more Fixed than Further Down The Spiral.

The third version of "Nothing At All" (the "Alternate Rock Mix") is, well, a more "rock" version of the original. Tweaker's done this before with the  "Take Me Away (Rock Remix)" and it works. It's basically the album cut with some sharper guitar, tougher drums and a few new elements that make it more "rock radio friendly", something that bands have to do these days or they won't get played on K Rock, which, sadly, can still make or break a band.
I think.
I haven't intentionally listened to the radio for a decade or so.

Improving on the simple, clean effectiveness of "Wasted Time" is something I would think rather difficult. Did Rob King and Adrian Terrazas-Gonzalez succeed? For the first half, I would have said no (the whispers of "wasted" and "time" were not impressing anyone), but then, about halfway through, when the sweaty saxophone bursts through the wall like the freaking Kool Aid man and starts making panties drop...what was I saying?
Oh, yeah.
The second half is pretty cool, the first half not so much.
Whatever the case, it certainly stands out.

The final track on the standard album is the Aaron Zilch mix of "Fine". The first half is dark, steady, and contemplative, getting a bit more bassy around the middle before building amidst a flurry of bright, glimmering synths before finishing with some ragged drums and finally, winding down and disappearing. On its own, not a great ending to this great remix album, but, when you add on the super moody and stripped down Rojer Faust mix from the deluxe edition (which I would put in the fourth category), you get a nice eight plus minutes of development and exploration. Personally, I would have substituted this for the Zilch version.

The start of Joe Haze's "Grounded" mix could easily be compared to the beginning of "Closer To God", but it soon diverges, becoming more melodic and soft (if remaining a bit creepy). I actually enjoy the vocal treatment on this one, the repurposing and switching of the meter. Two tracks into the bonus material and I would rather have had these on the remix album proper. This continues the theme of Further Down The Spiral very nicely. This isn't quite up there with the "Hoarding Granules" mix he did with Beavan, but you can clearly see what he contributed.

The final track of the deluxe edition is yet another remix of "Grounded", this one by Perileyes & Encanti and damn it is funky. One might break their neck while listening to this. There's some great juxtaposition between the softer, almost vocals-only moments and that razor / laser dubstep programming. The vocal manipulations are really interesting as well. This ends things on more of a Y34RZ3R0R3M1X3D note than that of Further Down The Spiral, but, I'm still very happy with it.


Those That Don't Work

Sort of a dressed up drum cover of "Grounded", the Dave Lombardo mix didn't really work for me. There is some interesting stuff here, but, it really just sounds like he held onto one or two elements from the original and then just played some (kind of sloppy) drums over the rest. It changes the feel of the song and, meh, it just doesn't really work for me.

The final "Grounded" mix (3KStatic) is the longest on the album, clocking in at over seven minutes. I can't think of many remixes over seven minutes that I enjoy as the remixer usually uses their time to show just how great they think one very tiny and specific part of a song is for an inordinate and unnecessary amount of time, wandering into the land of self-indulgence.
Like this.
I'll be honest though, even if this were only four minutes, I still wouldn't like it. kaRIN singing "ahhhh-ahhhh-AHHHHH-haaaah" isn't the most interesting part of this song.

A very possible reason these two don't do it for me might be because I enjoy the original so much.
Can't improve upon perfection.

3KStatic has a chance to redeem their earlier flop here with a remix of "Fine" and, instead, decide to dig their hole deeper with a messy, echoey, dub version. You can see the weed smoke billowing off of this one. True, a robot comes in at the end, but I've already left the party.

The fifth "Nothing At All" mix is a straight up thump-ah-thump-ah club remix and I am eternally grateful that it wasn't put on the disc. It's just absolute garbage for folks like me who don't do clubs or club drugs. There are some cool textures in the quieter moments but less diarrhea is still diarrhea.


Poop Condom In A Baby's Crib

Hey, every body of work has to have an asshole. This is that asshole....
The Army of the Universe mix of "Ponygrinder" focuses on the only problem with the original version (the obnoxious phone operator samples), and finds a way to make it even more obnoxious, specifically by spending the majority of this track just hitting the sample button like a retarded kid with a Casio so you get solid blocks of "go back a step, go back, go back, go back, go, go, go, go, go back a step, go back, go back. go back, go back, go, go, go, go".
Flush.
Then wipe.
Then flush again.


The Reason There Are Remixes

"Pig-Grinder" is what happened when Raymond Watts of <PIG> kidnapped "Ponygrinder" and held it captive in his nightmarish, S&M musical basement for eight months. It's an amazing reinterpretation of the original and sets the tone perfectly for the album.

Ah, Rasputina, never have trouble picking you out...
Say what you will about the temperament of Melora, but the stuff she does is always fascinating. This is a remix like Benelli's version of "The Frail" from Things Falling Apart is a remix, that is to say, a top-to-bottom recreation of the original. If you need specifics, picture "A Bit Longer That Usual" covered by cello-and-tambourine wielding medieval minstrels. Boom. I recommend listening to this and then the original; it's fun.

The Sean Beavan and Joe Haze mix of "Hoarding Granules" starts like someone turned off the lights and pumped fog into the original, but then, once the lights are switched back on, the listener looks around and sees a straight up industrial slaughterhouse. One of the more hardcore industrial remixes on the album, this feels like something from some non-existent album combining the harsh rigid drum programming and screeching guitars of Broken and the dark textures of The Downward Spiral.a track from the Broken session.***

Along with the nineteen remixes on the deluxe version of And Then There's Nothing, there are two brand new tracks as well; "All In" and "Limerence". The first starts off sounding like the drums from "Nothing At All" chopped and twisted, and then evolves into something that might be at home on a John Carpenter film score, and the second, which has the feel of someone dreaming of icy pools while listening to "At The Heart Of It All" (until the man howling and woman whispering "ecstasy" come in).
While the former sounds like a leftover from CTTE, "Limerence" has a distinct 2 a.m. wakeup call feel to it. It would have been interesting if CTTE had featured more tracks like this.

In the end, despite the handful of tracks that didn't work (for me), the majority of this album achieves exactly what it set out to do: to dig deeper into Call The Time Eternity, to explore and exploit its nuance and to light up its dark corners as well as find the dirt buried underneath it.
Honestly, I'm just happy to have fourteen new tweaker remixes. That Linoleum EP really gets old after a decade plus of listening to it.





* If this sentence didn't make sense to you, you might not want to bother reading this

** Long time mixer and engineer for Nine Inch Nails and member of Kniker's Primitive Race collective

*** Which makes sense as Beavan worked on Broken, Fixed and The Downward Spiral

12.02.2013

End of the Month Music Bitchfest - November 2013

Nine Inch Nails

Now that !!TENSION!! 2013 is over and our minds have all been launched from the backs of our collective heads, it's time for some more reminiscing.

At this point (I know this thanks to the folks at NIN Tour History dot com -  here's my profile), I've seen Nine Inch Nails thirteen times in as many years...and if you think that is an unreasonable amount, then I think you/d better get in touch with the guy who has seen them eighty nine times since 1990.
Anyway, while some shows have been more about the spectacle and some have been more about the music...uh...NINE INCH NAILS!!!!! WOOOOOOO!!! FUCKIN' TRENT!!!! WOOOOOOOO!!! NINE INCH NAAAAAAAAILS!!!!!!!


Fragility v2.0

My very first Nine Inch Nails concert took place in Philadelphia, PA at the Corestates Spectrum (although I think it was called the Union Spectrum back then). My now-wife, Christina, and I had received GA tickets from her mother as a gift. We showed up several hours early with dreams of being in the pit and close to the stage, maybe even up front!
Fuck our stupid, stupid thinking.
At that point in my life, I had seen Closure and the Fragility v1.0 special*, so I was pretty sure I knew what to expect, specifically that, at one point, a scrim would descend and some stuff would be projected on it.
Right on.
We ended up about ten feet from the stage and everything was cool.
Yeah, I was stoked, Nine Inch Nails, man. My very first time seeing one of my very favorite bands live.
Right on.
That's what I had held in the front of mind right up until the lights went out and Reznor started clawing at the semi-transparent, backlit curtain while a version of "The New Flesh" enveloped the audience. Then the curtain disappeared, as if by magic, and then I was screaming the lyrics to "Terrible Lie" with tears streaming down my face at Trent Reznor, who was about ten feet from me.
That blind, screaming, rapturous excitement was quickly replaced by the hands, arms, feet, fingers, boots and various other body parts of every. single. motherfucker. in the place, all of who, it appeared, were trying to climb inside my body in order to get just a tiny bit closer to Reznor.
That shit got real old, real quick. I was having trouble focusing on what was happening on the fucking stage because of all these freaks trying to kill one another in order to..what?...get up on stage? Touch Reznor? Suck Reznor?
I was beginning to think about leaving the pit right up until the end of "Gave Up", during which, instead of a scrim, three massive light panels began to come down from the ceiling.
I forgot about each and every one of the gibbering, snorting, sweating pigs around me and just bore witness.



After the third song utilizing the light panels, the crush of the aforementioned fucks provided to be too much for me and I had to get out of the pit.
I do not remember the rest of the show.
Every drop of liquid had been drawn out of my body by the people surrounding me.
Every article of clothing was completely soaked through with other people's sweat.
If I had been into that, this would have been a delicious trip to Bonerville, population me and everyone else's sweat.
But, as I don't like other people's sweat on me...it was not.
However, I was too goddamn exhausted to do anything about it.
My very first Nine Inch Nails concert, and I don't even remember the second half of it.
What a waste.

The next NIN show for me was their now legendary performance at Madison Square Garden, the one where Reznor brought Marilyn Manson up on stage halfway through "Starfuckers, Inc.", after which they did Manson's "The Beautiful People", but, as my friends, Lizzie, Morgan and I were only able to get tickets in, oh, the 300 or 400 section**, we didn't know why the fuck people were freaking out until the song started up again and Reznor sounded like he had swallowed a broken bicycle horn.
While it seems that being in the pit wasn't for me, neither was being six miles from the stage.

My third and final Fragility v2.0 show was when I discovered the sweet spot for all future NIN concerts: the soundboard. Where better to stand than exactly where the sound has to sound best?
Idiot.
Originally, my friend, Lisa, and I were going to try for a position closer to the stage (people in Lakeland, Florida are less violent and fucky than people in the City of Brotherly Go Fuck Yourself, Cracker, right?), but, when she got dizzy after A Perfect Circle, we decided to find a place with less of a crush and did so, right next to the soundboard.
As far as my ability to take in and enjoy the show, this was perfect. Plus, it was the first time I'd ever seen them play "The Fragile".
One downside was the two overweight goths who actually began to have intercourse during "Closer". It seems that the soundboard attracts more than just audiophiles...

Live: With Teeth***

Almost exactly five years to the day (off by two days) after my final Fragility show, and before I had the money as well as the understanding that Nine Inch Nails only tours every five fucking years and that I should have dismissed the fact that I didn't have the money and seen them two nights in a row, I attended the second of two club shows at the Hammerstein Ballroom in Manhattan, again, with my wife.
With Teeth had just come out and I was still dealing with the fact that it was not The Fragile.
I recall being bummed that, aside from only four tracks from the new album, two additional tracks from The Fragile and "Burn", that the setlist was almost identical to the three Fragility shows I'd seen.
I also recall that, about ten minutes before NIN hit the stage, some dude in front of me (I was against the back wall, about one foot below the VIP section of the balcony) looked at me and said, "David Bowie!"
I have gotten Jim Carrey, Keanu Reeves, Trent Reznor (when people mistakenly thought it was him and not me in the music video for "Every Day Is Exactly The Same") and some wrestler whose name I do not, at the moment, remember. But never David Bowie.
People around this dude started turning and saying it as well.
I was very confused.
Then, turned around and looked up...right at David Bowie.
I could have reached up and touched his foot, had I been so inclined (and into feet).
He noticed that people were noticing him, rose from his seat, smiled, waved and left.
Soon after the lights went out, I saw the door to the VIP section open and watched Bowie take his seat once again.
About halfway through the show, a dude stumbled up to me with a beer and screamed over the noise, "Hey! Can you hand this to David Bowie?!"
I politely yelled, "Do you really think that David Bowie is going to accept a beer passed up to him from the pit of a Nine Inch Nails concert?!"
The guy seemed to consider and then nodded, thanking me.
After the show, in the press of people, he came up to me and said that I had made a good point.
My evening was complete.

Next up, perhaps the best Nine Inch Nails experience I've ever had.
About six months later, at Madison Square Garden, my wife and I were let in early and not only got to see soundcheck (during which they played a song or two that did not appear later that evening on the setlist) but also got a meet and greet with the entire band. This was all thanks to The Spiral, the short-lived Nine Inch Nails official fan club.
I shared an awkward moment with Alessandro Cortini, was finally able to tell Twiggy Ramirez that my disgusting ex-roommate had once had a threesome with he and Manson (to which he responded, ".....cool") and had Trent Reznor inquire, "how fuckin' tall are you anyway?"****
Just FYI, Trent Reznor is a full foot shorter than me.
No joke.
The show itself was epic, the first time I'd seen them since their partnering with Moment Factory, the people responsible for the more jaw-dropping visual moments in Nine Inch Nails live history since the mid- 2000's.
They played eight tracks off With Teeth, more than half the album and brought back that scrim I had been expecting from Fragility v2.0, but had augmented it with some really nice fixed LED displays.
This was the first time that layers had been introduced to the Nine Inch Nails live show, with a back screen, the front scrim and the jagged LEDs.
As far as thematic cohesion, this show might win; although it wasn't as fancy and jam packed with astonishing feats of lighting like their later shows, this one all felt like it was part of a whole.






After this was the Summer amphitheater leg of the Live: With Teeth tour in Wantagh, Long Island and, as far as the experience was concerned, it was almost the exact opposite of MSG.
As I had before, I showed up early with my friend, Ray, in order to make sure we got a good spot for whatever Spiral-member-only thing we had waiting for us.
About eight hours early.
We were the second and third people there, respectively.
In the end, what this netted us was a pair of sunburns and early admittance to the merch and food stands...about ten minutes before everyone else.
I got a poster.
Did I mention that this was a ticketed show? With seats?
Well, it was.
And, although our tickets were "Spiral tickets", there were a whole bunch of non-Spirochetes with better seats.
This...was not my favorite Nine Inch Nails show ever.
Despite the lack of special treatment (no one's fault, they made it very clear that soundchecks and / or meet & greets are NOT guaranteed), the set was great, for the most part for the fans, featuring songs like "Help Me I Am In Hell", "La Mer" segueing into "Into The Void" (something ever NIN fan had wanted to hear since 1999), "Non-Entity", "Dead Souls" and "Down In It".
They'd also made some technical advances since 2005, adding a sort of faux interactivity to the show, which ended up being a foreshadowing of things to come.



Lights In The Sky

Holy fuck.
Why I didn't see more than one date on this tour...I will never know...brain damage?
Every time I walk out of a NIN show, I ask myself, "how are they going to top that?", and every fucking time, they do.
This was the first show after which I really had to start adding question marks to the end of that question.
This tour was in support of the three albums that had come out since 2005's With Teeth, and that period from 2007 to 2008 (which has come to be known as the Industrious Age of Nine Inch Nails) was represented beautifully in this thirty song set, half of which consisted of songs never played before.
This is what a Nine Inch Nails show should be: groundbreaking visuals combined with an abundance of new material...and one that doesn't conclude with "Hurt" or "Head Like A Hole".
If you boil all my bitching and venomous little words about Nine Inch Nails live shows into one sentence, that is it.
LITS delivered that in dump trucks full of spades.
It was chock full of visual (the "static" motif for "Only", introduced back in 2005) and musical (the rebuilding of "Piggy") evolution and just holy fuck.
The only drawback one might point out (if one could even call this a drawback) is the same drawback one could point out with their most recent tour: the lack of a singular theme connecting everything together.
But...dude...check it out.







NIN/JA Tour*****

Having learned from my past mistakes, Chris and I bought tickets for both New York area shows, namely, Long Island and Holmdel. Out of the 38 songs performed, only 8 were played both nights.
As this was a far less technically demanding tour than LITS, they were free to mix the set up more than ever before and it was fantastic. Over the two nights, they played more than half of The Downward Spiral, which was a highlight for me, specially those tracks I'd never seen live before, as well as hearing "The Way Out Is Through" live, something I was not expecting. While the first night was solid, the seats weren't great and the sound was a bit off, but the second night, we were almost dead center about ten rows back and it was glorious.
Overall, a bit under produced for my liking, I really do love the spectacle, but I can't argue with the variety.

Wave Goodbye

On the whole, these two (at Terminal 5) were more about being there than the shows themselves.
Does that sound strange?
The sets both nights had a lot more overlap than the two NIN/JA shows, although they did play 23 more songs over these two nights, and we had Peter Murphy drop in as well...although I'm certain there wasn't a person there who wouldn't have eaten Peter Murphy alive in exchange for Bowie showing up in his place.
I still remember the buzz that went through the crowd when we saw that second mic getting set up, and, when Reznor introduced and started playing "I'm Afraid Of Americans", there was an audible hum of anticipation in the audience.
The first night, our dumb asses thought that the pit might not be so bad this time around, and it totally wasn't until Nine Inch Nails started playing music. At that moment, just as nine fucking years prior, every person in the room seemed to want to be inside me. At the start of the fifth song, "March of the Pigs", I literally clawed my way out, and, while I wasn't completely unconscious like I was after my first pit experience, I was way over to the right and couldn't really enjoy the rest of the show.
The next night, I went with Ray and we decided to say fuck the ground floor altogether and ended up dead center on the balcony, just over the soundboard. The location was great and hearing the "Piggy" remix, "Gone, Still" and "Lights In The Sky" (despite Trent utterly fucking up the lyrics to that last one) were great, but, yeah, something wasn't clicking for me.
I should probably mention that, the next morning, I awoke with the worst case of the flu I'd had in years.
I dubbed it the NINfluenza and laughed, quietly, in my death bed, while sucking ice chips.

Then, four years later, my dick and balls were blown out the back of me by !!TENSION!!!!!1!!, my account of which you can read here.

And, I am overjoyed to announce that, just last week, Reznor informed Zane Lowe that the "Tension" show they taped at the Staples Center in L.A. will be getting released in early 2014, hopefully packaged with the deluxe reissue of The Fragile YOU FUCKING MONSTERS WILL YOU RELEASE THAT FUCKING THING ALREADY YOU FUCKING GODDAMN ASSHOLESAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!1!!!!

Sorry.
So, what have I learned or taken from or whatever from my thirteen Nine Inch Nails shows over the past thirteen years?

Mainly that "Wish", "March of the Pigs", "Hurt" and "Head Like A Hole" have been played at every single one.



They Might Be Giants

And speaking of talking about concerts for too long a period of time...I had a wonderful time with some friends at the first First Album Show since, if I am correct in my math, over twenty years.
First things first, I think I'm over "The Mesopotamians".
Wait...have I already said that?
Hm.
Well, I'm more over "The Mesopotamians" now.
And, I've decided that, during all subsequent performances of "Damn Good Times", I'm just going to scream as if I am in hell.
Good?
Good.
Moving on.
While it was really excellent to hear a lot of the first album, a few tracks stood out and I would love to see them slipped into future set lists, such as "(She Was A) Hotel Detective" (which rocked so hard), "Rhythm Section Want Ad" (I love the band break down. Something about this song is even better now that the band has a rhythm section) and "Everything Right Is Wrong Again".
It was also good to see Flans still has his mad harmonica skillz on "32 Footsteps", as well as hear "She's An Angel" and "James K. Polk" after all these years.

I still think their 2013 Celebrate Brooklyn show wins for best recent TMBG show, but, again, it was great to relive some of the oldies.

Next time, let's get that John Henry show going...with horns...


Additionally, the second of Alessandro Cortini's Forse trilogy, Forse 2, came out this month and I have a steamy little review of that coming soon.

In a nutshell, if you liked the first one, you'll like the second one, and, and I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume you'll probably dig the third one as well when it comes out in early 2014.

And, finally, the new tweaker remix album, And Then There's Nothing was released just last week, the review for which will be posted here later this week, although, if you are boiling with curiosity and apprehension, you can read an edited version on Amazon.

Next month, we'll address my Bitchwish list for 2013 and my Bitchwish list for 2014.

FUNNN!!!





*About 40,000 times

** Closer to the moon than the stage

*** The second silliest sounding name for a NIN tour I've ever heard...not that it wasn't apt, it was a tour on which they played songs from the album With Teeth...live...it just sounds silly if you tell someone that's what you did over the weekend: "Oh, you know, saw 'Live: With Teeth'."
As opposed to what? "Dead: With Teeth"? "Live: Without Teeth"?

**** This remains, to this day, the only time I've ever been 100% cool with someone asking that question

***** No, not that kind of ninja, the kind you get when you combine the first letters of Nine Inch Nails and Jane's Addiction...gaijin dog.

11.30.2013

It was late and I watched "R.I.P.D." and "In Time"

And I took notes.


R.I.P.D.!!!!

About two minutes into R.I.P,D. and I'm screaming "Kevin Bacon did it!!!!" into my screen, let's see if 32 years of not being surprised by movies starring Kevin Bacon have taught me anything...

Didn't know this was a fun, Men In Black romp kind of thing, I thought it was some overly dramatic crime shit like Cradle 2 Tha Grave or that other one starring DMX and Steven Seagal's ponytail.
See? Advertising doesn't work on me.

Ryan Reynolds should be America's ambassador of smarm and jackassery.
He should also be Deadpool.

Has someone already described this as "Beetlejuice" meets "Men In Back"?

Their "camo" intro was pretty amazing. Well done.

"Eternal Affairs" - Jesus.
As in: "Oh, Jesus, that's a bad pun", I'm not implying that Jesus is the head of Eternal Affairs...although I guess that would make sense, wouldn't it?

Jumping right to the Apocalypse? Wow, where do you go from there?

There must be hundreds of old, Chinese men ready to swoop in when James Hong finally dies...in 2036.

This was damn fun.
Looking forward to the sequel?
(checking IMDB)
Never mind.
(checking wiki)
Wow. Had no idea this movie was being considered for this year's Worst Picture AND Worst Actor.
I didn't really see a difference between how Reynolds acted in this and in, you know, everything else. Can someone tell me when / if Reynolds has ever been considered good in anything?

IN TIME!!!!!

They explained the entire premise in less than a minute, now we have two whole hours to check out this world.
Well done.

Going in, I've heard the world is awesome but the movie is shit.
Let's see what the horse's mouth has to say.

How could any world allow a fine piece of ass like Justin Timberlake to die that young?!
Also, the fact that he's playing 25 even though he's 32 means he's taking MUCH better care of himself than I am.

Great device to have a lot of hot young things run around and act weird.

The flipside of "eternal affairs" from R.I.P.D. are the new meanings to the old, overused adages and idioms about time, i.e. "don't waste my time, clean your clock", good stuff.

I like the look of this as well, nicely shot.

I feel like a lot of this started with puns...
Puns and weed.

PETE CAMPBELL IS IN THIS!!!!!

Pete is the PERFECT 85 year old 25 year old. Well fucking done, faceless Hollywood casting agent.

Even in the future. Even in an alternate timeline. JT makes them panties DRAWP.

The chick, Sylvia, looks a bit like an alien if you stare at her too long, like a word that stops making sense when you say it too much.

The hand fighting was a bit weird, especially because JT turned into James Bond for a moment, killing three guys in two seconds. I thought he wasn't a criminal.

Also, almost forgot to mention: Scarecrow, what?

Yeah, world and its rules were interesting but I actually didn't think the movie itself was that bad.
At least Scarecrow didn't reveal he was JT's dad.

And, again, PETE CAMPBELL!!


Thanks for being a spectator to my wispy, late night driftings.




11.18.2013

Terrence Howard: Eat A Dick

What changes?
What changes in a person that suddenly makes one million dollars not seem like a lot of money?

Remember when you and your friends would sit around and say stupid shit like, "How much money would it take for you to eat poop?"
And you'd say something like, "Not for less than a million dollars!"
Let's be honest; we all know someone who would eat poop for far less that a million dollars.
But, and this whole fuckrant is contingent on whether or not the information contained within these articles is accurate, Terrence Howard wouldn't eat poop for a million dollars.
Nope.
You know what else he wouldn't do for a millions dollars?
Be a part of a franchise that has grossed over a billion dollars.
I understand how, relatively, one million is less than four and a half million.
I do.
It's math.
Four and a half million is three and a half million more than one million.
See?
But a million dollars to be an actor in a film is still good.
It's real good, you guys.

Here's the venomous little heart of this thing for me: actors want to be treated like normal people (for the most part), because, technically, they are normal people, in the biological sense, anyway. They still eat and sleep and poop and fuck, just like all humans*, but there is something that happens to an actor's mind (most actors, not all actors) that changes the value of things...suddenly, getting paid anything for acting in a movie, is no longer the most incredible (and I mean that in the literal sense of the word) occurrence in the world.
Something changes and makes that actor think that, because they are sharing their ability to pretend in front of a camera with the rest of the world, that receiving less than a million dollars is, somehow, unfair or wrong. Not worth their time.

I'm now a full time actor, primarily voice, but I do on screen as well. I have booked jobs where the amount of money I've received for my time seemed ridiculous; thousands of dollars for, in some cases, less than an hour of work, that "work" consisting of talking into a microphone in a quiet, comfortable room in New York City. I've also done much more than that amount of "work" for far less, sometimes for free, even.
Because being a working actor is the best job in the world and because I am so, so insanely grateful that this is where I am right now.
And, when I look at things like Howard turning down the chance to be in a movie, let alone for a million fucking dollars, I get sick.
This isn't what this is supposed to be about.
And I'm not just pointing fingers at Terrence Howard. Robert Downey Jr. was paid fifty million to be in Avengers.
Fifty million.
That's fifty times more than what Terrence Howard turned down not to be in Iron Man 2.
And that makes me sick, too.
What does RDJ (or any eight-digit-paycheck-per-film actor) need fifty million dollars for?
Transportation?
Food?
Even without eating the best food in the world and taking the fastest and most private jets in the world, one can still live well without anywhere near that much money.
And he received that amount for one movie.

I don't really know where I'm going here. I suppose this is an indictment of the entire entertainment industry?
How does one determine the value of an actor's time and skill versus that of a fireman or a teacher?
How is it that one VO job pays $500, another pays $100 and a third pays $10,000?

I am not Terrence Howard. Yes, I really do understand that. I am not a movie star. I also understand that.
But I am a professional actor, and the idea of turning down the work that makes me a professional actor seems utterly senseless to me.
I am still utterly shocked and delighted every time I book a gig and they have an unlimited supply of water for me to drink.
And snacks!
I feel like I've won some sort of prize!
And you're going to pay me to talk into this microphone?!
I've been doing this for ten years now, and I am almost just as stoked about it as I was the very first time I booked a gig and received viable currency for doing something that I love and am good at.
What the fuck else do you need, Terrence? Robert?
What do you need aside from receiving money and adulation for doing something you love and are good at**?

Anyway.
Unfocused spatter of bile concluded.

One last, two part question for Terrence, if I may: if someone had walked up to you with a million dollars when you were growing up in Chicago all those years ago, and told you it was for pretending you were Iron Man's best friend, would you have turned it down then?
What's changed in forty years, you cock?





* And I apologize for excluding those among us without digestive systems, mouths or sexual orgams, I really do.

** Robert, not Terrence. Quite frankly, I'm overjoyed they bumped him off of the Iron Man movies.

11.01.2013

End of the Month Music Bitchfest - October 2013

Nine Inch Nails

Well, I finally experienced TENSION, and, while I still don't have any idea why it was titled as such, it was pretty amazing.
In a nutshell: while each song (for the most part) had its own incredible set of lights and programming, the whole show seemed to lack coherence, the back up singers worked except for when they didn't and I was 90% surprised and delighted at the set list.
For a full (read: fanboy) review of the two shows I attended, go to HERE.


They Might Be Giants

TMBG are having their last U.S. concert until 2015 on Saturday, November 2nd at Terminal 5, and I plan on being there (unless I'm still sick, as I am at the moment). They've promised the entire first album (something they haven't done since 1992) and I am greatly looking forward to hearing some stuff I've never heard before, as well as more stuff from Nanobots.
Still no word on the 2014 IFC...


Eels

Plans for a fall / winter tour have become plans for a new album, which is so much more exciting.
I love Wonderful, Glorious and think that the new approach of having no approach worked excellently; here's hoping for more in studio collaborative gold.



At the behest of Chris Kniker (Primitive Race founder and mastermind), I went ahead and checked out the latest Gary Numan, Splinter (Songs From A Broken Mind), and, while I haven't had too much time with it, I'm enjoying the majority of what I'm hearing. Maybe as much as Dead Sun Rising, although I'd need more time with it to be sure.

On the whole, Splinter sounds like it all takes place in the same rotted, filthy shell of a building; with crumbling walls of diseased synth and infected guitars. Some rooms are better than others though.
It opens strong with "I Am Dust", which features a huge, invocational chanting chorus, but things get ridiculous fast with the scary whisper talking of "Here In The Black". This song actually contains the lyrics "so it waits like...a demon assassin of God."
Oy.
Some other "Oy" moments include "Who Are You", which, although it only clocks in at 3:45, became annoying and skippable after about a minute and "Love Hurt Bleed"*, which sound like something Gravity Kills, Stabbing Westward and Marilyn Manson pooped on, a track that might pop up in a 90's, WB tween drama made-for-TV movie club scene to show that the cute, blonde protagonist is NOT in Kansas anymore!!!!
Ugh.
But, aside from those skid marks, most everything else on the album is good, and some of it is very good.
"The Calling" sounds like a Gary Numan Bond theme (very interesting), the title track feels vaguely reminiscent of something from Peter Murphy's "Dust", and the programming and textures on "A Shadow Falls On Me" are fantastic.
I also really enjoyed the softness and sincerity of "Lost" (which feels a bit like "For The Rest Of My Life" from Dead Sun) and "My Last Day"; when those walls of noise are finally broken down, you can really appreciate the depth and detail that Numan's been putting into his work for the past decade or so.

Splinter holds together very well and is a really solid work with great sonic atmosphere, but it still vacillates between sounding like more interesting Depeche Mode and less interesting Nine Inch Nails for me.
And, while I hate to keep saying this about Numan's more recent albums, I wonder what having Reznor's input would do for him and his music, and I'd love to see the two of them work on something, be it a Numan record, a NIN record or something that is just the two of them.
Bottom line: if you liked Jagged and loved Dead Sun Rising, you're going to dig this.

Along with Splinter, two new tracks from the upcoming Alessandro Cortini album, Forse 2, have been released and it sounds like more of the same.
Which works just fine for me.
Here are "Canta" and "Luna" (fourth track in) from Forse 2, coming in November.

And there you have it.
Might have something to say about that TMBG show next month and another bloated trip down my NIN memory lane...

Until then.





* Which may be the silliest, gothiest, angstiest song title FUCKING EVER.

10.31.2013

A review of nine inch nails live: tension 2013 - OR - Fuck Every Show I've Ever Seen Ever






I attended both the Brooklyn, NY show and the Newark, NJ show on October 14th and 15th, respectively.

Here are the stand outs from each night:

Piggy - This is the first time the lights break the fourth wall, for lack of a better term. Up to this point, the lights have been utilized on the stage to highlight portions of the stage, but, here, they strafe out into the crowd in rays in time with the song's deep synth noise. Always with the gradual progression...

All Time Low - And here, specifically at the end, is where shit gets real.

Disappointed - CONTINUED REAL SHIT. 

Satellite - You know how you'll listen to a new album and there are songs that you just know will not be played live? This was one of them and when I heard the opening, I actually did a tiny, little girl hop. Then the ridiculous real-time wireframe visuals came up and...well, I kind of just stood and stared.
Holy fucking shit.
Roy, Rob, Trent...take your dicks out of my brain.

In Two - Not as surprising as "Satellite", but still surprising. The all out assault of lights on this was just stunning, breath-taking. And the added harmony during the break down is, without a doubt, my favorite use of the two backup singers. The results were absolutely beautiful.

A Warm Place - My very first thought was: Holy fuck! "A Warm Place"! I'd never heard this live before and I am so happy I got the chance. This was less like listening to a song as it was being swallowed whole by a song; a living, breathing womb. Utterly amazing.

Somewhat Damaged > Wish > Burn - Excellent choice of arrangement. There was so much visceral anger in these three songs that I found myself acting like some belligerent little pit shit for a moment. You can really tell Trent's been working on his vocal control with "Somewhat Damaged" and "Burn". Also, a quick note on "Wish". For a while now, this has been on my list of songs I could do without at a Nine Inch Nails show. I mean, I've been to 13 NIN shows since 2000 and it's been played at every one. So. I added it to the list, knowing that I was going to hear it yet again and that I was going to sing along and pump my fist at the appropriate time, but that my heart wouldn't be in it. Then, I saw it live and was swept up completely. And here's what I have come to realize: hearing "Wish" played live gets old, but seeing "Wish"played live? Tori Amos used to open her shows with an eight minute version of "Precious Things". It was...amazing. When her album, To Venus And Back, came out, the second disc had this eight minute live rendition on it as track one and I could never listen to the whole thing. You need to see it.
All this to say: please ignore any further complaints about the inclusion of "Wish" on future setlists. Thank you.

The Day The World Went Away - One of my favorite NIN songs. Any time I get to see this live, it feels like a gift and this time was no different. Just incredible.

There were some substitutions the second night, namely "Reptile" instead of "Piggy" (and I'm going to side with "Reptile" on this one. Goddamn does this still destroy the world live), plus "The Big Come Down", "Into The Void" (another favorite and another one that worked very well with the backup vocals sung by women), "Echoplex" (good to hear, but seemed to lack something) and "I'm Afraid Of Americans" (which was so loud, so deliciously loud...). In most cases, you could tell which songs were interchangeable by their lack of visual accompaniment.

The first and most startling aspect of my time at these shows I have to mention was the complete and delightfully shocking abandonment of the tried and true (and boring) three-part live formula*. This is the first Nine Inch Nails concert since the year 2000 where I've had no idea what to expect** and the feeling was just sublime...although I was pretty sure "The Hand That Feeds" was going to precede "Head Like A Hole".

Along with that, the vast number of "swing songs" has been impressive. At this point in the tour, we've heard about thirty-five, including the entirety of Hesitation Marks except for "Everything" and, according to Reznor, there are still around five or ten songs to be revealed over the next month.
Damn.

Then, we have the new additions to the tour line up, specifically, sleepy bass god, Pino Palladino and the two female, African American back up singers, Lisa Fischer and Sharlotte Gibson. I'm mentioning their race because this was something I was concerned about, that they would add too much "Gawspel" to the mix and, in some cases, that was a problem. It was not a problem on "Into The Void", however, as the album version actually featured an African American back up vocalist who added a lot to the original track. Their contribution was most felt, for me, on "In Two". Their presence transformed the bridge of that song into something just perfect. I only want to hear the live version now. As far as what else they lent to the tour, I'll need to hear a clean concert recording before I can really determine. Off the top of my head, I think they stood out in a negative way on "Disappointed" and "Black Noise" and blended perfectly on the aforementioned songs. Overall, I think they should have functioned as texture and not overtaken Reznor, which, in a few instances, I feel they did.

I also loved the visual references to past NIN stage setups, such as the Fragility v 2.0 "waves" during "The Wretched", the Fragility v1.0 lighting pods in "Somewhat Damaged", and, of course, the NIN logo (and the new version of said logo) during the end of HLAH from the 2006 Summer tour.
But, while Reznor, Bennett and Sheridan seemed well aware of and connected to past incarnations of NIN live, the show itself seemed to lack cohesion. While each song was, for the most part, jaw droppingly impressive with regards to the visual set up and the light programming, I didn't feel like this was anything more than a really amazing resume for Moment Factory; an opportunity to show the world how fucking awesome they are.
Is this a bad thing? I mean, I had an amazing time, I was awestruck by some of the things I was seeing, so, do I really need to feel that story had been told? I might be less concerned with this if the tour weren't named. Even after seeing two shows, I still don't get where the "tension" was supposed to be.*** I really , really hope this decision wasn't based solely on the merchandise...a lot of which had the words "tension" on it.
Perhaps if there had been one, static set piece that worked as a thematic anchor or more of a tie in with the Mills visuals from the album....

Okay, now, as this is a place where I go to piss and moan and find fault with the things I love, I suppose I'll have to find something to bitch about.
...uh...well, aside from the tiresome but completely unsurprising (and necessary?) inclusion of "The Hand That Feeds" into "Head Like A Hole" (which amounted to a single hair in an otherwise delectable meal)****, the fact that I didn't hear "Various Methods Of Escape", "I Would For You" and "In This Twilight" (my favorite songs from their respective albums) and the lack of cohesion I mentioned earlier...you guys, this was a unique and incredible experience for me, and will be for you too, if you manage to catch it live.

Before I wrap up, just a quick word about Godspeed You! Black Emperor!, who opened for NIN both nights.
I didn't know anything about these guys except that people seemed to have vague hatred for them. I did a little research, as I like to be at least somewhat familiar with openers and kept finding EPs, but no full length albums...until I looked a little closer and saw that these four and five and six track "EPs" were full length albums, most of the songs clocking in at around twenty minutes or so.
Ah ha.
They worked, overall; there was a hugeness and a great calm at the heart of their thirty minute, two song set, although I'm not sure if I'd call what they do self indulgent or hilarious or brilliant.
Probably not that third one.
Whichever their motivations for doing what they do, they seem dedicated to it.
Might interest you, if you are patient and / or into pot.





* Part one ending with "Gave Up", part two being all quiet and moody and visual, and part three starting with "Wish".

** 100% visually and maybe 80% on the setlist, thanks, primarily, to some cunt mouth from the This One Is On Us twitter account who POSTED ON TWITTER, AFTER HAVING COMMENTED ABOUT NOT WANTING THE SHOW TO BE SPOILED, SPECIFIC DETAILS ABOUT THE END OF THE SHOW. If they had just posted the spoiler, this would have been less shitty, but specifically mentioning it and then doing it? Fucking dick.

*** Unless you count the pre-show music, which included 80's horror movie soundtracks, selections from The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo score (cool to hear on such a huge speaker setup) and other ambient, sparse electronic stuff.

**** And we're talking, like, the hair of a really attractive women whose hair you wouldn't mind eating...like Deborah Ann Woll.

10.18.2013

A response to Buzzfeed's "The 32 Absolute Worst Parts About Being Tall"

Hi, I'm 6"8, and am, therefore, qualified to write this response.

Here we go.

1. Every hug is awkward.
Wrong. I've found that the people I hug enjoy the enveloping nature of my hug; it reminds them of the womb and has a calming effect.
My hugs are the best.

2. "I need someone tall to grab something!"
Not an issue, I'm always happy to help.

3. Low ceilings
True. Fuck low ceilings.

4. Beds Are Way Too Small
Not really. I sleep just fine in a queen-sized bed and, while it's not the most comfortable, I can make due in a smaller bed just fine, thanks.

5. Everyone hates you at shows.
Perhaps, but I'm in front of you because I got there before you. If you want to be in front of me...guess how to solve this particular problem.
You whiny, fucking asshole.

6. You don't fit in foreign cars
I don't fit in 
any cars, but, thanks to my time doing yoga and Butoh, I can deal.
Airplanes are the devil's cock though.

7. People think it's socially acceptable to jump on your back without asking.
Thirty two years old and this has never happened.

8. Everyone expects you to be good at sports (but you're not)
Also true, although it's specifically basketball. I did try to play basketball back in 6th grade and learned that one must also have coordination, which I do not have. The two sports I am good at are crew and swimming, in case you're wondering.

9. You've never actually seen your face in a mirror before.
This one...doesn't really make sense...

10. Long legs means naturally outpacing anyone you walk with.
True, but you could all benefit to losing a bit of weight.

11. The deep end of the pool always leaves something to be desired.
I've never been in a pool with a deep end shallower than ten feet so...no.

12. Long sleeves are never long enough.
As I don't have monster arms, this has never been the case.

13. And pants are always way too short.
Also not true.

14. People ALWAYS insist you've grown since you last saw them.
Not since I was a teenager, no. When I was a teenager, however, that was usually the case.

15. One size fits all never fits.
True.

16. Everyone asks how tall you are.
True, but I usually have a cache of smart ass answers for those people.

17. You haven't been able to relax in a bathtub since you were 10.
True. It's hell.

18. Airplane seats are knee destroyers.
Here's the trick: don't let the motherfucker in front of you lower their god damn seats. There is NO WAY you not being able to tilt your seat back will be less comfortable for you than simply BEING in a n airplane will be for me.
Also, fuck airlines, especially American Airlines.

19. Your knees don't fit under your desk.
Get a bigger desk, idiot. I'd rather light a candle than curse the darkness.

20. Everyone uses you as a beacon in crowds.
Again, happy to help.

21. Getting called “Jolly Green Giant” when you wear green.
Much like the "people jumping on my back" thing, this has never happened. I prefer the company of more original individuals.

22. You can never hear people at parties.
Ugh, yes. Or I have to bend down and press my ear to your face. If only there was a way to...oh, wait...chairs have been invented.

23. You’re always picked to be the goalie.
No, I am not.

24. You always have to stand in the back of group pictures.
Well...yeah, how the fuck else are you going to see anyone else if I'm standing in front of them? And, so what f I'm in the back, I'm tall, so you're going to see me.
Buzzfeed...did you run out of things?

25. Or awkwardly crouch to get in frame.
Unless the person taking the picture has no arms or lacks the ability to raise their arms, this is not an issue. I have been on shoots where they have to reframe though. And it's awesome.

26. “What’s the weather like up there?”
*spit*
It's raining, you unoriginal fuck.

27. Public transportation wasn’t built for you.
This was truer years ago before the buses and subways in New York got bigger. I will say certain subway stations are awful though, especially Union Square. Jesus Christ, I fucking hate Union Square.

28. You can't swing on swings.
YES I FUCKING CAN.


29. People use you for shade or to block wind.
Not strangers, but I'm happy to help friends out.

30. Your legs are always in the way on trains, buses, and airplanes.
Correction: all of me is always in the way on trains, buses etc. And that's why I tend to try to move out of the way. If someone has a real problem with it though, I'm sure we can both work together and find a way for you to go and fuck yourself.

31. It’s always unnerving to meet people who are taller.
For me? Fuck no it isn't. It's awesome. I can make eye contact without hurting my neck, I can share an understand look with them I can't with others and, finally, I have someone to high five about my dick size without it being weird.
For you? Deal with it, we're the next step in human evolution and will get all the eaves off the top branches.

32. The points of open umbrellas are always right at eye level.
More like neck level,  am very tall. And I never have a problem knocking them out of the way. Pay attention you ball sac, you're carrying an open umbrella.

So, to summarize: my biggest problem is airplanes, I am fine with using my height for good and, in the end, I'm a living, breathing sign that the human race is evolving.

Hope this helped clarify things.

I'll just leave you with this...