3.29.2013

A review of Electric Sewer Age's "Moon's Milk In Final Phase"
























While The New Backwards might be the final album released by Coil, Electric Sewer Age's Final Phase is the last music ever recorded by Peter Christopherson. Danny Hyde, the unofficial third member of Coil, has completed the final phase of the Moon's Milk opus.

moons waxing
Robot temples on the moon.
Straight up robot temples on the moon.
Doesn't sound anything like the other Moon's Milk releases.
Programmed or automated vibraphones.
The strings start of chaotic and unfocused and rockets zoom by overhead.
The whole thing feels very "the year 2000 as viewed from the year 1954".
Eventually, a melody, compelling and intricate, emerges from the plucked, once-chaotic strings and those vibes.
Once this is established, things don't change much.

moons waning
This instantly feels more spacey, more lunar. The bed of strings provides a nice, rich depth, a dark beauty that is also cold, much like space itself.
The voices add a sense of awe and devotion, but also a sense of fear and menace or maybe just unease.
Would saying this sounds like a satellite observing a moon temple be too much? The string stings that come in towards the end are actively uncomfortable, not because of their volume, just their dissonance. It's an excellent texture, perhaps representing getting a little too close to a meteor shower?

moons in final phase
Deep thudding bass set against some signature skittering Coil squeaks. You can almost hear a negative melody in the cracks... This sounds old and worn, like a block of sandstone that was to be used in the construction of a pyramid but was left out in the wind for centuries. Elements begin to trickle away until nothing is left but the piping flutes, broken then taped back together. This is an incredibly visual piece.

There be aliens out there
This is very unlike the rest of Final Phase. Almost Aphex Twin-y. There's an odd vocal sample which questions whether or not the listener obtained this recording legally, but then thanks them either way. This clattery, factory setting makes me want to see this sunk behind Modern Times, as it has a very "technology out of control" feel...but not new technology, old technology. There is something very Fixed about some of this. The organic drums add a touch of humanity; it almost sounds like something from the Blue Man Group. Things breakdown suddenly and some fantastic guitar comes in, adding some skin to the machine...which then devours said skin while we listen.

While this doesn't continue the works from the four Moons' Milk EPs, I could see it fitting in as a fifth and final chapter...the first three tracks anyway, that last one seems completely unrelated, sonically, in any case.

Next week: the Coil Review Project wraps up.

3.28.2013

I Got Married. I Got Married So Hard.

And, once I return from my honeymoon on the 15th, maybe I'll be able to string two thoughts together to talk about it.

Some quick thank yous:

To those who travelled crazy distances to be with Chris and I on the day and on the days leading up to the day: Will and Diana, Autumn, Jim and Jen, Jeannie and Jade.

To Phil and Will for helping to construct and carry out the most insane bachelor party since reading quietly in a sun-dappled parlour while nursing a cup of tea* and a plate of digestive biscuits.

To our respective wedding parties for being on stand-by and making sure I had pants on.

To everyone who made it to the thing itself; I cannot tell you how great it felt to look out and give a shit about everybody there. None of that "is that my cousin's boyfriend or my doctor's niece?" bullshit. Just awesome people.

To those who couldn't make it: totally understood, not a problem, we still felt your love. It was durty.

And, finally, to Christina, for taking the bait.
SUCKA!!!!!

One quick note: if you are planning on getting married: hire a wedding planner. We did not and hate ourselves for it, although, somehow (mostly thanks to Mel and her fabulousness) it all came together with, virtually, no problems.
None that anyone could see, anyway.
As I told a lot of people that night, there are three kinds of mistakes in theater, one that everybody notices, one that only the cast and crew notice and one that only you notice. There were none of the first (except for the fact that we ran out of cranberry juice earlier than expected...sorry), a small handful of the second and one or two of the third.
That math is just fine with me.

All right.
I'm married.





* Chamomile

3.22.2013

A review of Coil's "The New Backwards"























Wow. I made it. This is the final Coil album. Released in 2008, about five years ago.

Album opens with the straightforward structuring of "Careful What You Wish For" (a new element introduced every eight bars or so). The song itself is not typical. It builds into a cold, subterranean piece which gets menacing as soon as the mottled screaming rears its bloody head...."I please fuck my nightmare"...I think?
Jesus fucking Christ...
Very nice programming on this.
I'm just going to assume that Reznor did the distorted backing vocals at the beginning although he almost certainly did not.
Some great jagged textures, solid Coil.
This may not have needed to be 9 minutes, but, complaining about unnecessary Coil song length now is...well, just stupid.

"AYOR" is a straight up industrial dance techno remix of "It's In My Blood". The treatment of this reminds me a bit of what was done to Manson's "Kiddie Grinder" on the remix EP, Smells Like Children. This is active terror as opposed to the passive terror on the original version.
Another way to put it is that it sounds like a Coil remix of a Coil song...which it is.
META.
This is a nightmare you can strobe dance to.
There is a very "At The Heart Of It All" moment around the middle*, very nice.
Then it returns to what it's been doing for about four more minutes.
Again, I hate to beat a dead horse (and not record the sound for a Coil album), but this doesn't change and evolve enough to be almost ten minutes long.

"Nature Is A Language"...shit. Aside from some cool drums and nice organ in the background, it just goes nowhere and gets annoying...for almost ten minutes. And the vocals just get silly. Balance screaming "Can't you read???!?!?!?!?" again and again and again...ugh. At best, it feels like no effort went into this, at worst, if feels like a joke at the listener's expense. Bummer.

"Fire of the Green Dragon"** starts off nicely with some creepy jabbering, then an alarm and a beat that gets covered by skittering sonic insects. Balance informs us that "the earth that made you, will now eat you". Good to know, I will try to avoid the earth. He also tells us that he's "gonna give you honey, if I can", to which I say, "no fucking thank you, John."
Over time, some really nice layers pile up (are there evil, Soviet, Tibetan monks? because...they're here), but, overall, this runs into the same problems I've found on the rest of the album: aside from the random samples and manipulated loops and the occasional repeated lyrics, nothing really happens here, nothing changes. BUT, "Green Dragon" is the most interesting/least boring of these instances so far.

Sadly, like a lot of other stuff here, "Algerian Basses", while it has a really solid set up and instrumentation, just doesn't really go anywhere. Plus, it still feels long at five minutes. Towards the end, sounds begin to run down and melt, and it starts to get different, interesting, but then the song is over.

"Copacaballa" is very mid to late 90's electronica. Not bad, just dated. Balance utterly nails the vocals on this though, both the presentation (a cross between an evil wizard and a salesman) and the lyrics. The sounds and programming are also excellent. Cannot get over these lyrics...so alchemical, "I am with the hiss where all the magic is."

"Paint Me As A Dead Soul" is terrifying: heavy, wet and subterranean. The music rises up, all rotten harpsichords and broken, overloud music boxes, and locks itself in place so that you can focus on the lyrics. At the end, it fades like the last breath of a dying child.
New level of disturbing and creepy with atmosphere so thick you can bite it.

I've never been a fan of bands saying the name of a song over and over again, and "Backwards" is no exception. There's just not enough here. The music isn't cool enough to justify the lazy lyrics. The screaming adds some nice depth and texture though. Balance is sounding a lot like Clint Mansell and the song actually begins to sound a bit like Pop Will Eat Itself once you get into it. Which isn't necessarily a good thing...

The final track from the final Coil album, "Princess Margaret's Man In The D'jamalfna" feels vaguely carnivalian at its start. Like most of the album, there is some nice programming and chord progression, but, also like a most of the album, they aren't explored or evolved, just merely used as what they are, cool sounds. Feels like a waste...

I'm annoyed at myself for constantly repeating the same thing over and over "cool sounds, but not enough it done with them" "feels too long because there isn't enough expansion and evolution", but, fuck, that's what keeps happening. The whole album feels overlong and unfocused, as if it's either missing layers or they just let the tape run. Literally, minutes could have been taken out of this and it would have been better.
While, on the whole, there are good examples of how they've evolved as artist's over the years, this doesn't do them justice as their final release. Then again, with Balance dead by the time this was put out, who knows what this was supposed to be or if it was ever intended to be heard by anyone. I'd rather think that Ape of Naples was their final release, as that was a truly exceptional and stand out album.





* Nine Inch Nails' , not Coil's.

* Titles such as "______ Of The Green _______" always make me think of drug-induced hallucinations.

3.18.2013

Some Pun Involving The Word 'Target'

I had my third session with Target this morning recording the intro to their award submission and their case study for the Everyday Collection campaign.
Good times.
I also met Grace, the sexy whisperer in the TV and radio ads.
British.
Who knew?

Tomorrow, I have a tasty three hour chunk with Speakaboos and then three days of screaming, bloody panic as the wedding looms.

But enough about that.

MEDIA

I recently finished watching Full Metal Alchemist.
At times the lack of progress in that show was obnoxious, but, in the end, I suppose they wrapped things up nicely...I suppose. I love the Japaneseishness of it; the weird little freak outs and strange behavior. Armstrong, for instance, what the fuck was going on there? And why do all of the best Japanese heroes eat so much food? I'm thinking of Ed Elric, but also of Mugan and Jin in Samurai Champloo (which still might be my favorite anime, thank you Phil).
Such an odd culture...

I also just finished the second season of American Horror Story. Not as amazing as the first. Less obliteratingly sexy maids than I would have liked, although Satanic whore nuns that rape Voldemort's brother? An acceptable substitute. Acceptable.
It was very fun to see (most of) the cast from season one playing different characters. Can someone please give Jessica Lange an award?
Oh, and, if anyone had a problem with the insane amount of misogyny in season two, I'm sure that'll be addressed and toned down for season three...which takes place in Salem...most likely during the witch trials (is that capitalized?), but I wouldn't put it past the show to not bring up witches at all during the season and focus more on Yetis (is that capitalized?).

Other than that I have just finished the most recent Dresden Files book and I think I might just have to stop reading until all twenty six or whatever are out. While each book is its own thing, the ante just keeps getting upped...Butcher has talked about his "big, apocalypse trilogy" and I cannot wait for that to happen. One thing all this forced patience has taught me is to have pity on those poor bastards waiting for Dickface to finish the Fire and Ice books. Man, what a dong. I've said it before and I'll say it again, King was dragging his ass on those last three Dark Tower books until someone hit him with a fucking van.
So.
I'm not encouraging this behavior.
But.
You know.
Squeaky wheel, grease, etc.

I also had the surprising delight to watch Dredd recently.
Wow.
Okay, first off, I decided to watch this movie for one reason and one reason only: I had heard that Matt Berry's "Theme for Snuff Box" was used in it, not once, but twice. Now, if you've heard this song, then you know just how odd of a choice that sounds like and how intriguing the possibilities are.
So, yeah.
Guys...this is a really solid action movie. It's not even a dumb action movie, they did a great job.
First off, the plot completely justifies the use of 3D.
To be fair, I wasn't in on any of the meetings (AGAIN) and maybe this whole movie was build around 3D, BUT, even if that's the case...way to go Hollywood.
See, there's this drug called "slo-mo" that, when smoked, slows down time to 1% of its normal speed for the user.
Gratuitous slow motion and 3D justified in ONE SENTENCE.
I've only read a few Judge Dredd comics and pretty much everyone has been ridiculous and I'd seen the Stallone movie...which I'm going to stop thinking about*, so, my expectations were gub.
But, this wasn't a story about Judge Dredd; it was a Judge Dredd story.
More specifically a Judge Dredd story co-starring a smoking little redhead telepath who also knows kung fu.
The sets and tech and costumes are all amazing, perfect.
And, back to the 3D, when it's used, it's used sparingly and effectively...which I think might be a first in Hollywood movies.
The villain was pretty solid as well: she had pathos and ethos.
PATHOS AND ETHOS.
She didn't go over the top or have a monologue or anything like that, she was just cold and hard and scary...mainly because she bit this dude's dick off.
...pathos...
There was also one of the better uses of the "hacker" stock character as well. Yes, he was in a crazy looking server room with a huge bank of monitors set up in front of him, but his mannerisms and character depth were just great, nothing like our typical "computer nerd" or whatever.
Plus, he was listening to that Matt Berry song I mentioned.
Occasionally, there were some silly moments...like Urban's constant Stallone Snarl for no real reason, his accent bleeds through a bit at times...and a whole lot at other times (the first word spoken is "America" and it sounds nothing but British in his mouth), plus, the hot psychic actually says the line, "Wearing a helmet interferes with my psychic abilities"...which kind of sums up the whole movie right there.
I don't know, I could keep going, but it's been a while and all I remember is how solid the whole thing was...and then how sad I was when I found out that they are probably not going to do a sequel.
*sigh*

And, finally, last night I watched Argo, which was also pretty solid. Very glad to have avoided that "Argo fuck yourself" meme/quote/reference thing as it could have gotten old fast. Did anyone else notice that Ben Affleck didn't smile once in the film? Must have been the director's decision...
And Bryan Cranston? Cursing? Pure money gold.
Here's hoping we'll get some more cool CIA operations declassified so we can watch more cool movies.

All right.
I've done enough thinking.
Time to read some comic books.





* Except for the cameo by the amazing Ian Dury which is the only reason to ever watch that movie.

3.15.2013

OMFG!!! MARRIAGE UPDATE!!!!

As of right now, I'm eight days out from my wedding.
But this isn't about that.
This is about my week in voice acting.
Sucker.

Monday was stupid, angry early.
A booking for Carrabba's from 9 am until the client's final approval but with a hard out at 2 pm*.
Oh. Sorry. 8 am.
This is the kind of voice over I'm not a big fan of: it was a remote, which means I'm in a booth in New York with an engineer (J.D., who was totally awesome) while the producers, directors, audio folks etc. are in another location and only talk to me through a set of headphones. What this means for me is a lot of standing in silence while they talk things over.
Then, once we have a good version of the scripts (a :30 and :15 version), they have to send it off to the client, the people representing Carrabba's.
This is the awful part.
To "send something off" means to, literally, attach a rough version of the VO to an e-mail and send it. In this case, that meant to Florida. After an inordinate amount of time, they get back to the folks in the studio and tell them that they like what they're hearing or that they want something different.
Sadly, the client wanted something different.
Which means back into the booth and start from scratch.
When this new delivery is finished, again, it gets sent to the clients.
Long wait.
Final decision.
The people were all great, but the copy was so bland. This isn't an interesting commercial that people are going to want to hear again, this is something that will make them change the channel and I don't like the boilerplate read that I did.
But, it's the client's money and their choice so, whatever.
Thankfully, they liked what I did the second time around and I go out around one.
Four hours, during which time I was actually recording for, maybe, ten minutes, forty five seconds of which will actually be used.
Behold: the Industry.
After that session, I headed over to an audition that was supposed to have taken place an hour earlier, but, because the session ran long, I missed my slot. I called to see if I could still make it and they said yes. It was at Sound Lounge and with Andy and I'm more than cool with both of them.
It was a lucky thing I made the audition, because I ended up booking the gig...Bud Light.

Another "9 am" session...another open ended "9 am" session.
Such...suffering...
But, it was at Sound Lounge and these guys are always cool. The room was comparatively packed; two people from accounts, two from creative, a producer and the audio engineer. Throw in a keg and...no.
This was a lot more fun than Carrabba's, it always is when the room is full of people.
At one point, Prince was brought up** and it turned out that most everyone there had excellent Prince stories.
The script was more fun than any beer commercial that I've ever heard and, although the client seemed to want something more boilerplate, the creative folks wanted more of a Denis Leary read...which was perfect for me at fake-9 am. At one point, I got to improv some stuff which is always a blast, but, whether or not they use it, I suppose we'll see.
In the end, I had to leave at 2 pm, but we had gotten everything done that we needed.
Sadly, it looks as if the Leary read will not be the one they go with.
Again: the Industry.

The next morning was yet another session at Bang for Speakaboos, which has become my favorite voice over gig ever thanks to Amy Kraft, the executive content producer. We bond over such wonderful geeky stuff...
Thursday's session, while only from 10 am to 12 pm, was full of the most fun and challenging voice work I do these days.
First on the docket, I met the creator of Scrapkins, Brian Yanish, who was working with Speakaboos to get one of his stories animated. My character? Digger.


He'd never been voiced before and I had the honor of doing so. Brian had an idea of what he should sound like and, after I made a bunch of weird noises, we had our Digger.
Did I mention that Digger speaks his own language?
He does.
Example: I had to say "Zoogarrrr!" in several different ways.
After this, which was...just the most silly fun ever...I was handed a more kid-friendly version of Shelly's "Frankenstein"***, for which I did all the voices, the narrator, Dr. Frankenstein and the Monster.
Have I mentioned that I enjoy working with these guys?
Then, with just a bit of time left, I was handed "Night Boy", written by Anne Carter and illustrated, beautifully, by Ninon Pelletier, for which I read the narrator and Night (brother of his sister, Day).
Although we only got halfway through, I'm going back in on Tuesday for three hours to finish that up and do some more, undoubtedly, fun, challenging, creative and wonderful stuff.

Before I do though, there is the matter of Monday...on which I will be recording some internal VO for mono, the ad agency behind the kick ass Target "Everyday Collection" campaign. Turns out that this campaign really took the ad world by storm and now it's been nominated for a bunch of awards. I'm going to be voicing the award submission video and the video that kind of breaks down and explains the campaign to folks.
These guys have also been totally awesome and I'd love to work with them again.
I love how they've taken the ironic glamour and elegance of "Tar-jhey" to such a ridiculous extreme that it's actually become cool and funny.
Have you seen these commercials?

And, on top of all this paid work, I'm just over halfway through recording my second audio book for Phil. As it is a fraction of the size of "The Grind Show", it is going so much faster and less frustratingly and I'm almost enjoying the actual recording.
Hopefully I can get that wrapped up before my honeymoon, because, if I don't...it's really going to eat me up.
I loathe having creative projects not finished when there's nothing stopping me but me.
I never understand that...how some people have ideas and then just write them down in little books until they grow moldy and less pertinent. If you have an idea and are able to carry it out, fucking do it. There is nothing, NOTHING more satisfying than having a thought, writing it down and then creating and releasing it; whether it's glorious or insane or pure shit. It's something you made, something no one has seen before...hopefully.
It also pays to Google your idea first, just in case.

So, yeah.
Eight days before the happiest day of my life and I'm voice acting like a fucking maniac.
Good stuff.





* A "hard out" means that, no matter where we're at, I'm out the door by that time. If you're too nice (like me), sometimes you get taken advantage of.

** Yes, by me, and yes, that counts.

*** Less murder and burning.

A review of Coil's "The Ape of Naples"



Christ it feels good to be done with ANS...anyway, this is the second to last Coil album ever released, featuring several tracks recorded (in some form or another or not?) at Trent Reznor's Nothing Studios. I've held off listening to this because A.) it's some of the most recent Coil and B.) I'm expecting it to be pretty great.

The album begins with a welcoming hymn called "Fire of the Mind"; replete with an organ and a choir, this is a strong and beautiful opener*. Balance's voice (this was the last album released before his death at the end of 2004) sounds weak and creaking, an old priest who still believes in the words he speaks after all these years. "Angels are bestial / man is the animal" he intones, and there's real understanding in his voice. This is his version of blessing the space.
The second track, "The Last Amethyst Deceiver" is a studio version of the live version of a song from their Autumn Equinox EP, called "Amethyst Deceivers". Here, there are a few different elements and there's no effects on Balance's voice. It's softer and the instrumentation, while a bit dated, also feels comfortable. Leave it to Balance to ruin that feeling of comfort with his voice... While I don't really understand the need to remake this track, it feels right that they did so.
Next up is "Tattooed Man", a boozy, murderous romp with a retarded circus clown through an after hours French bistro/brothel. This should be in a Jeunet film, sunk in a scene where a serial killer drinks wine from the skull of the only woman he ever loved and who he had to kill because he's unable to express love in any other way. Sounding a bit like a rusty Marc Almond, we listen as Balance talks about how much he loves/hates a tattooed man in a grave/a man with "different sex aspects".
Vive l'amour!
"Triple Sun" is an excellent instrumental. There is tension and fear without it being overbearing. Synths, marimbas and horns play small fragments which are then woven together to form a sad and gorgeous tapestry. This sounds like it could be an updated track from the Hellraiser Themes album.
Speaking of creatures from Hell...you know what's been missing from Ape thus far? Terror.
Oh, hey, "It's In My Blood", thanks for dropping by!
This is classic, nightmare darkness Coil. It starts out sounding a bit like the opening to American Horror Story, until the horns come in; full, orchestra-style horns.
Then...the screaming.
At that point, we're just listening to an exorcism, Balance speaking in tongues...although I get the feeling that he's comfortable with his demons, this might just be him taking them for a walk. When he shrieks, "It's in my blooooood, screaming!" I completely fucking believe him...and pee a little.
The horns and other classic, orchestral instrumentation and arrangement would be odd and over the top if the whole thing weren't so terrifying. This is an excellent return to form.
Interesting side note: The opening of this sounds a whoooole lot like the sound used in the trailer for Marilyn Manson's cancelled/not cancelled/cancelled maybe/oh who seriously gives a fuck? "film", Phantasmagoria: The Visions of Lewis Carroll. Don't feel bad, Marilyn, if I were you, I'd probably steal something cool like this too.
Aaaand, speaking of terrifying, "I Don't Get It" makes "It's In My Blood" sound like "Zippity Doo Dah". At first, it sounds a lot like bits of "The Beauty Of Being Numb", and then the human/robot/pig monster screaming starts ("I don't get iiiiit! I don't get iiiiiiiiit!!"). This...is a new kind of nightmare.
Walking through a graveyard inhabited by agonized, cybernetic souls.
Then, some late night horns.
"Heaven's Blade" is a stand out track. This is turning into one of my favorite Coil songs. It's a perfect blend of everything I've come to love about them. Reznor's influence** is most strongly felt here. It sounds vaguely like something from the Black Antlers recording session. The lyrics are very alchemical. The bridge, I suppose you could call it, sounds like something Tweaker might create. Rather than keep describing it, I'd suggest you go listen to it; really, really great stuff.
Next is "Cold Cell". Originally, I thought the music was beautiful, sparse, but beautiful, but that the lyrics were a bit at odds with the feel of it.
O Lord, save my sinful soul
From local punishment
From the far-away zone
From being frisked
From the tall fence
From the sever prosecutor
From the Devil or from the Devil owner
From small rations
From dirty water
From steel handcuffs
From hidden obligations
A cold cell
And short haircuts
Save us from the death penalty
Amen
Amen
Amen
To me, it sounded like a convict's prayer to the patron saint of criminals...well, it turns out that it is. It's a translation of a Russian prayer used by convicts. So...yeah.
+5 to Perception I guess.
"Teenage Lightening 2005" is the second remake of this track, and it has never sounded better. After hearing versions of this on two different albums (four versions total, not including this one), I have come to love that swaggery, bossa nova*** bass line. On this final, definitive recording, you'd think you were listening to something on a Lite station in Miami until the distorted squelching sounds infiltrate the beat like rot.  Then all the familiar elements from the versions on Love's Secret Domain and  Black Antlers come in, one by one. May I be the first to call this "Pagan Lounge Music"? The keys at the end sound reminiscent of those found on "Eraser (Polite)". At the very end is the same evil Balance laugh we got from the last track of "Tunnel of Goats" from Constant Shallowness Leads To Evil...which is kind of weird.
The penultimate track, "Amber Rain" is not related to Prince's "Purple Rain", no matter how far you stretch the definition of "related". Rather, it's another musically simple piece; a detuned piano in one ear and a dusty hurdy-gurdy (?) in the other. There's a strong sense of distress, unease and regret here. Balance sounds exhausted on this as he croaks "a dull, warm, red water falls / floating down to the sea / where deeper, darker waters wait for me". At one point, a winding Middle Eastern horn comes in and things get very sepulchral, very fast.
It's like Balance has already died...
The final track, "Going Up" is Coil's cover of the theme song to the old British comedy, "Are You Being Served?".
Before you read on, listen to the original here.
Okay, good.
Now, the resemblance is...none. There is NO resemblance beyond the lyrics, which are sung in a hauntingly beautiful voice by a woman whose name is on Wiki, but which I do not care to look up. If you really do, though, please feel free.
The music sounds like a medieval ballad...for a knight whose family is dead...and who is also dead. Sad, noble and epic, the music makes the lyrics even more ridiculous.
How ridiculous? Think Dynamite Hack's cover of "Boys In The Hood" as far as the distance between the intention of the original and the cover goes. This might be the equivalent of Nine Inch Nails covering "Sex Dwarf" or "Get Down, Make Love"; this isn't a joke, exactly, both bands are fully committed to the covers and they both sound great, it's just that the source material is so...odd.
Whatever the motivation was, this is a beautiful (sounding) song to end a remarkably well-made record.

Like a few of their earlier albums, there is a lot of spirituality on Ape. Spirituality, reflection on life and its inevitable end...and also on what happens when you rub two teenagers together.
Also like some of their earlier works, the instrumentation can feel dated, sometimes working for the music and sometimes against.
Something I found very interesting was the sense of maturity: rather than just spraying painfully loud and dissonant noise across everything like a monkey with a hose, they chose to integrate the more unpleasant sonic aspects into the music, to use them constructively rather than as a weapon with which to attack and destroy the listener. They chose to not cover up the softer, more articulate instrumentation, but, instead, enhance it and spotlight it.
Almost at the end and Coil still has the ability to surprise me.
Because of the range and maturity and musicality here, Ape of Naples goes up there as one of my favorite Coil albums.





* Reminds me a bit of music from The Neverending Story...sorry.

** If, in fact, he actually had anything to do with this album...

*** Disclaimer: I do not actually know what bossa nova is.

3.12.2013

Beer. At Nine In The Morning

Just received word from my panicked agent that I booked a Bud Light voice over for tomorrow morning...at nine...in the morning...A.M.
It has something to do with March Madness, which, I think, is some sort of fungal rash, typically found around the genitals, specifically the anus region; like Athlete's Foot, but with more hives and burning and stink.
I'M JUST KIDDING!!!
I KNOW ALL ABOUT MARCH MADNESS!!!
It's when basketball fans act even more obnoxious and vicarious than usual.
And I am about to get paid ca$h money to rile them up even further...
This must be what Satan feels like.

Aside from beer, just yesterday I was called back in to do some more recording for Carrabba's, a chain of Italian restaurants that are better than Olive Garden.
10% of the time was spent actually recording while the other 90% was spent eating Goldfish and talking with the engineer, J.D. about how great this industry is and that someone in the industry can never complain to someone not in this industry about the industry or we'll sound like assholes.
Overpaid assholes.
Overpaid assholes who don't do nearly enough for what we are being paid.

On Thursday, both the 14th (Pi Day!!!) and the 21st, I have EVEN MORE SPEAKABOOS!!!!
The last time I was in, I did a villain, finally, although not an evil one, a repentant one...with a goo wand...

And, on Monday, I have another session with Target recording an introduction and breakdown video for their Everyday Collection campaign so they can submit the spots to awards and stuff...so...bacon.

All this and I'm about halfway through recording my second audio book. Thank the bleeding lord Jesus it's only a fraction of the size of Grind Show and that the longest recording session I've had has been just over an hour. I need to fucking soundproof my home...

Along with all this, Chris and I watched that Netflix series, House of Cards which wasn't as bad as one might expect for being an original series on Netflix and the second season of American Horror Story.
Four words: Ian McShane. Holy fuck.

Then there is the wedding.
May I just go on record as saying that Chris has done about 97% of the work?
Thank you.

We're stressed and dying and getting there and it's going to be awesome, but, before it's awesome, it's massive brain and butt fuckery; financially, emotionally and physically.

The podcast is going strong.
But it could go stronger.
You lazy, fucking assholes.
Go here and listen and subscribe and rate and review my shit*.
Then, go here and appreciate all the fucking work I put into the style of my fucking podcast.
Fuck.

I completed Dead Space 3 and didn't think it was as horrendous as everyone else did.
As soon as I have some time, I have, literally, eight games just waiting to be played.
I think I shall start with Metal Gear Rising.

I'm finished.





Favorably, you fucking dicks.

3.08.2013

A review of Coil's "ANS"























I've been dreading this.
Ever since I found out what, exactly, ANS was (^^^ look at that fucking thing...), I've been dreading this.
This is the big one.
Seven tracks, none of them named, each one thirty minutes long, give or take three minutes.
Three and a half hours.
But not three and half hours of dynamic, arranged music with instruments and vocals and fucking bullshit like that...three and a half hours of sound composed using only an ANS synthesizer (you need to read the description if you are to understand what I'm talking about...).
But.
I fucking did it.
I. Fucking. Did it.

1.
Crystal bowl, set atop a generator.
Oscillations.
Irradiation.
Or, perhaps the sound of light, disrupted by a huge fan; massive, the size of a room.
The rough hum of a loose connection is introduced. Something about this feels like Reznor's score for Quake.
The fan finally stops and a high, wavering tone comes in, stays, as does the deep generator. My mind is turned to the sound of the Beams from King's Dark Tower series. This is the sound the doors make.
What I call a "horror wave" enters, like evil light shone through black water.
It strikes me that, while Time Machines was water, this is light.
Things rise and fall, wavelengths change.
More high, decayed notes, shimmering, then fading.
There is almost silence before even higher, more focused, distilled light comes in.
Some knocking in the background, then a chorus of terrible voices comes and, thankfully, goes.
There's a tiny shriek to signal the end of things.

2.
The sound of an apparition. Light coming through it.
High and tense and cold.
Some kind of alarm, reflected back on itself until it degrades.
Then, glass insects, cicadas; a few at first, then thousands.
This is nightfall in the distant future, the far future, when the sun is close to dying.
More creatures appear, then, abruptly, the light dies: these are now night creature.
The tension is worse.
This is like listening to an electric toothache.
More swarms and then a light returns; the moon: brown and dying, spoiled.
The things one sees in the light of this moon are horrific.
Larger beasts make their presence known; howling out to this poisoned moon.
Ululations.
The moon fades away, the things are left in this unquiet dark, waiting.
The apparition returns, begins to weep.
Then dwindle, then scream, then mourn.
Noises like a clock (or hooves).
The ghost sound intensifies, becomes a laser (returning to the theme of the sound of light), almost painful.
The night is over and sunrise is a razor.
The night creatures have been replaced by day creatures, and they are far worse because you can see them clearly.
They scream at the sun, hating it, but they need it.
Then, everything begins to contract to a single point, the burning dot that remains on a television screen...before exploding outwards again, bursting like a sore, a sound made of all sounds (just as white is a color made of all colors), the supernova, the end of this horrid place.
The sound/light slowly diminish to nothing.

3.
This comes splintering into existence, a circular saw made of furious, red light.
Then, a moment of silence before a tone appears, solitary and clean.
It begins to wobble and sag, wandering, aimlessly, in and out.
Running circles around the rim of a large crystal bowl.
Infiltrated by some high noises, off in the distance.
After that intro, this is almost soothing, mesmerizing.
The high note cuts slowly back in, jagged; it waxes and wanes, causing discomfort when it gets too close.
A sound comprised of a million tiny, screeching, biting things, too sharp to be organic.
Almost like a rain stick filled infested with sentient, malevolent, metallic shards.
They recede and a lower tone can be heard, bot only for a moment before the splintering terrors return, ready to chew their way through your eardrum.
This is the most unpleasant track thus far...so fucking sharp...
Another awful noise, like a slow pinging, starts up.
(This track is just a huge bag of lightglass.)
This noise is like a searchlight, burning away the darkness surrounding it, scorching it away, cauterizing it.
It rises in pitch until it's, mercifully, no longer audible.
More silence, then what sounds like a pixelated theremin...one sound in a small, crystal chamber, bounced back and forth forever in a matter of seconds, then the tidal ebb and flow of light on the water.
There's a strong sense of loneliness here, of desolation, fear and hollowness, but still sharp, like discarded hypodermic needles.
High, bright flashes come and go, a deep, ragged tone wanders through.
There's more distortion, but it seems unsure of itself.
A feeling of displacement.
There's the sound of various lights on smoke and then the sound retracts, becomes prolonged, everything draws away.
Eventually, some sounds come back, but exhausts and diminished; they tire themselves out then disappear.

4.
Open on a flaming meteor flying through space; something that had been living on it screams and then dies.
(I'm already setting this to the opening credits of Alien in my head)
Weak, fading beacon, a distress call to no one.
A rumbling builds, a craft pursuing the meteor, there is something oozing behind it, tar, ichor.
The pitch changes.
Descending.
Landing.
The surface is frozen; the air filled with shards of ice, the wind, constant.
A sick, flickering, greenish light appears.
Could be dangerous...
More lights approach the landed craft, the low noises we hears are the beings communicating with one another, sizing up these visitors, deciding their fate.
Suddenly, everything seems to be shutting down, melting...something is very wrong with this planet.
Lights flicker and die, organic and inorganic, things smooth out, only to flare up again.
The sound becomes a curtain and begins to flow back, away from the listener, then it lifts, revealing something horrible: the jabbering Thing at the center of it all.
In an instant, things get very Lovecraftian and the whole story comes into focus: since the appearance of those sick, green lights, the visitors to this planet have been drawn down into it, and are now faced with what lies underneath, at the core of this place.
The humans (?) should never have followed that meteor or answered that distress call or done whatever lead them here; it would have been better to die in space.
But, now they're here.
Everything beyond the raising of that curtains is madness.
The wilting of the sound is analogous with the dying of the light of sanity in their eyes.
Screaming into infinity.
Soon after, from the seas of madness, we hear the voices of things: chelidrids, jaculi, phareans, cenchriads and two-headed amphisbands...then Yog fucking Sothoth.
Jesus this is horrifying to witness...
Next, a conversion takes place; the remnants of the fools who came here can be heard, barking, squawking, spitting hate at their new masters.
At the very end, the view widens and elevates and we can take in the whole planet: it's covered with these things, utterly teeming with them.
Then, the realization dawns: this isn't a planet, it's a living, breathing satellite made of these transformed wretches; a sentient nightmare floating through space.

5.
Something is wrong from the start.
Cybernetic dissonance.
Metal becoming flesh or vice versa; whichever is more painful.
Or, this might be machinery giving birth to other machinery, robotic cellular mitosis, the evolution of sentient machines.
A chorus of voices welcomes this new creation into the world and then a stream of data begins transmitting  into it.
We follow the information back to its source and behold the forging of raw data, it's a lot to handle.
Then, a respite, as we are bathed in the cool, blue light, soothed.
It's in this light that liquid crystal is grown.
Again, something goes wrong, and the crystals are shattered by the sheer volume and pitch that it turned against them.
There's some electro-human mewling and then a slide back into the cool, dark server room, where we wait.
Lights suddenly come on as everything powers up, activated but not acting, searching, waiting, all the drives spinning in unison.
An anomaly is found and whatever strange intelligence is directing things is unable to process it; it's incompatible and potentially hazardous.
We hear the computer virus.
At this point, I found myself losing the "story". Whereas, with the last few tracks, it's been rather evident (to me and my mind), things get to...nondescript.
I'll blame myself.
Eventually, after some indeterminate sound that comes and go, the "music" changes and I find a new...not story, but a new theme: this part, the last third or so, is what a satelite experiences; slow, rotating planetary masses. Lights appearing and disappearing. Some errant radiation is detected. An echo of a lost radio signal. centuries old.
My literary mind suggests this is a precursor to the previous track or, perhaps, some back story.
In the end, the satellite (or whatever) just drifts off into the ether, untethered and unimpressed by what it's witnessed.

6.
A cold and lonely plain, stalked by horrifying mutants.
This is a fitting soundtrack from the wastelands at the end of King's third Dark Tower book.
The ground has been melted into glass, and the creatures are all making noise, sounds like metal scraped across that glass.
There are flying things and things that could once fly, but can't any longer.
The land is dead. And these things are dead.
I'm not picking up on any story here; just a landscape and the things that inhabit it.
Like these insects that sound like a chorus of dead angels with air trapped in their lungs.
This is almost like a track from Ghosts, but, rather than a swamp at sunset or a forest in a snowstorm as the inspiration, there's this...Christ....
This might be the same dying planet featured in track two, just another part of it, perhaps the opposite side.
The glassy ground reflects strange starlight.
This used to be arctic tundra, but now it's just cold glass.
This side of the planet doesn't face the sun, so, rather than begin immolated, it's been frozen.
More insects arise, like broken cicadas.
In the sky, rocks tumble slowly.
There are still predators and prey here, they are unaware of what is about to happen.
The wind blows ceaselessly, cutting.
There are some interesting sounds here, but nothing that can't be described as strange, evolved or mutated animals.
At one point, the low rumbling of a huge land mass in the sky can be perceived, but not by these creatures, they take no notice.
There is something almost like tension strings towards the end.
Rather than a huge supernova, as in the earlier track, here all the creatures wait in silence as the end comes.
Track two was the bang, now comes the whimper...until the very end, when all these living dead things panic and begin to tear each other apart: chaos, confusion, autocannibalism; as if that will save them.
Then, while they destroys themselves, the silent, killing light comes to swallow them all.

7.
Radio interference, signal patterns.
The calm before something horrible, I'm sure.
Things growing in the dark, hatching.
Slivers of light, breathing, sentient light.
There is a vast ocean sound, then the piercing begins.
Then stops.
A warming, a taste of what it can do; a harbinger.
More waiting, more calm, toying with us. After everything I've heard, what could possibly be next?
The anticipation is killing me; this is like walking around a minefield blindfolded...FUCKING DO IT. PULL THE TRIGGER.
One thing I'll freely admit: I've never been this nervous listening to music.
The sound right now is so languid, like a huge creature rolling over in its sleep...a huge creature that could destroy a city without even noticing it.
Another fade to almost complete silence, and then that high vibrating like tinnitus...gone.
Never committing...teasing...it knows what we're expecting.
Hm, there's a sound like a light bulb burning out and then everything switches; deeps and soothing tones, red and purple...womblike.
Ready for some trippy shit: we're inside the Universe waiting to be born! Chickens and eggs and all that bulllshit...or maybe Coil just ran out of horrible things to expose us to.
There is a lot more texture to this section that the earlier one; squawks and squeaks, then, again, almost total stillness, barely textured...flat, black water, the surface of which is occasionally broken by a ripple or small wave...
Everything can be heard, but as if from a massive distance...like a veil.
Maybe we're dead.
Maybe, by listening to this whole thing, we've completed some ritual and we've killed ourselves without even knowing it...
A new sound, something almost human, is introduced, then just waves and wooshing.
A ghost through time.
At this point, more than three quarters of the way through the track, everything seems to be losing energy...maybe it's THIS that's dying, the track, the album, the ANS, and not us.
I wondered if there's even any energy left for some final assault...is this a gathering or focusing of power?
It feels like the opposite.
Then, the question is answered:  finally, choking on weak, fitful noises, the monster dies in its sleep, dreaming of its awful existence and what it has done during it.
The ANS is dead.
We're free.

I thought this album was going to be flat, a three and a half hour Time Machines. I was wrong,.
Not...pleasantly surprised...because very little of this has been pleasant...but...surprised, yeah.
Don't get me wrong, most of the time I felt like listening to this could be equated to passing a kidney stone.

Things happen here, on this album, events occur...but not for any reason a human could discern.
This could be what "people" ten thousand years from now listen to as pop music.
Listening to anything after this just seems...pointless, an empty gesture.

I dare you to find music that's more experimental than this.
I fucking dare you.

3.04.2013

A review of How to destroy angels' "Welcome oblivion"


Welcome oblivion sounds like a meticulously planned and programmed error, unlike anything I've heard before.
And I'd expect nothing less from Trent Reznor.
As far as lyrically...well, I really didn't know what to expect from his wife and the lyricist for the band, Mariqueen Maandig, not really. There was that EP they put out back in the summer of 2010, but, according to them, they've evolved and grown since then and that was just them finding their voices as they learned to work together, just "an artifact from that moment in time".
Musically, they have done everything they said they would: grown as a band, found their unique voice, discovered how best to work together...musically.
Lyrically?
Uh...
Man, is the music on here great...

The wake-up - Excellent introduction. Really conveys the feel of the album as a whole and gets the listener excited for what they're about to experience. The perfect sonic mission statement for HTDA. This is How to destroy angels_.

Keep it together - In the context of the whole album this is a very solid place to start; slow, dark and melodic, not too much of the dissonant electronic fracas found elsewhere to scare off people new to the band. Well placed and well played.

And the sky began to scream - The sounds and sound manipulation on here are just excellent. That frayed, thudding bass and razor sharp electronic cat scratch set against those frail, shuddering strings and flutes is perfect. Even if the lyrics aren't. I enjoy the build up at the end, but there's no real pay off.

Welcome oblivion - It's so great to hear Mariqueen screaming on this. I love to hear her doing something different from what we've heard thus far. The beat reminds me of Depeche Mode's Home and lyrics are steeped in apocalyptic consequences. I have problems with neither fact.

Ice age - Sonically, this is the most diverse track on the album; the clear, almost bluegrass plinks and plunks cut through the electronic haze that floods in towards the end. Again...the lyrics...not so much. Also, because this was released several months ago on their An Omen EP, I've become a bit overexposed to it. I need to come back around to enjoying it, but that's my issue, not that of the song.

On the wing - Also released in November 2012, I still think this is one of the stronger tracks on here, like "Ice Age" it sounds different from most of its surroundings. Reznor and Maandig's voices go together very nicely.

Too late, all gone - The vocal treatment on this is something I've never heard before. There are so many textures...it seems I hear something different every time I listen to it. Even if "the more we change, everything stays the same" isn't the most original or inspired sentiment/lyric, this is one of those rare moments when I'm actually hearing something new.

How long? - When this first came out a month or so before the album, it sounded overly 80's to me. In a bad way. Plus, those awful lyrics... As I've stuck with it though, it's grown on me and I've found some of the deeper, more subtle layers. It won't ever be my favorite, but I no longer skip it when it comes on either.

Strings and attractors - Despite a rough beginning (that high, fuzzy, metallic ping-PING get real annoying, real quick) and some cookie cutter lyrics (again), I like the harmony and sound of the chorus, specifically the softness of Reznor's voice. Once things open up at the end, I really start to like this a lot, even if it does sound like the melody from "And All That Could Have Been".

We fade away - It's so obvious from the start for anyone who knows SONOIO that Cortini is on this. The vocals (though not the lyrics..."let's record a song for which all the lyrics sound, phonetically, like "we fade away!") and build and piano are great. There's some guitar that sounds just like that used on the Dragon Tattoo score and it's more than welcome here. Cortini's muffled screaming is a wonderful surprise. But, although things get a little more lively, the payoff isn't enough; rather than something exploding out of the water, we get some pretty big ripples, but nothing else. This happens twice in the course of this track.

Recursive self-improvement- This sounds like a b-side from the score for The Social Network. Plus, the "you intentionally can't hear the vocals" approach to recording/mixing vocals always bugs me. Are you trying to cover up silly or unimportant lyrics? Is this just meant to be sonic texturing? I've tried getting into this, finding things tucked and layered in here, and there are a few slightly interesting moments, but not enough. This takes up six and a half minutes that could have been better utilized.

The loop closes - The programming, pounding beat and huge build up almost justify yet another set of uninspired lyrics...almost. But, said lyrics and, once again, the build up with no payoff massively detract from this.

Hallowed ground - Whereas "Recursive self-improvement" sounds like a Social Network b-side, this sounds like a reenvisioning of the last track from that score, "Soft Trees Break The Fall". Like...a lot. I mean, obviously, it's different; more organic and all that, but still...wow. Also, having a long instrumental, then a song with two lines of lyrics repeated over and over again and then another long instrumental as the last three tracks on your album? Youch. Did you really have nothing else? I would have been perfectly happy with a reinterpretation of "A Drowning" (the beautiful if straightforward closer from their 2010 EP), a perfect final track.

I have never experienced an album in which the visual and aural components are more perfectly married. You can hear the jumpy, VHS glitch art in the music, and see the distressed, pixelated sound in all the artwork.
It is flat out singular.
I also really enjoy hearing some of the sounds that went into both the Social Network and Girl With The Dragon Tattoo scores set to lyrics and in a more focused and melodic framework (except when they too closely resemble the source material). This album is a true amalgam and evolution of those scores and their debut EP.
There's also the themes: those of blind or lost faith, ancient religions, fulfilled prophecies, apocalyptic mistakes and old, forgotten gods reemerging and returning just in time for the end of days, perhaps summoned by believing (or not believing) in the wrong (or right) things.
In a nutshell, the fatal consequences of belief.

When set against the often overwhelmingly trite and uninspired lyrics, the lack of resolution on some of the songs and the fact that there are two long and lackluster instrumentals that account for almost a quarter of the album...yeah, this is still a really great album.
Yes, it doesn't end well, but the beginning and middle are just stunning, again, like nothing I've ever heard.
So, how about this:
Trent and Atticus? You guys are good to go, keep doing what you're doing. 
Rob? Keep up the good work, your visuals are just knocking it out of the park on every level.
Mariqueen? You sound great, but let's try and put a little more work into your lyric writing skills, okay?
Great.
I'll see you guys in 2024, when your next album comes out.

3.01.2013

A review of Coil's EP collection

Sometimes longer than their albums but with less songs, sometimes less accessible than a block of mahogany encased in adamantium, these...are the Coil EP's.

In no particular order.















The Snow
The Driftmix mix and "As Pure As?" stand out here, but the rest of the mixes here have that awful, lazy early-90's club mix feel. Aside from those two good ones, I found my attention slipping almost instantly. The accordion on Driftmix and the programming on APA (thanks to Balance and Drew McDowall who also worked on some mixes from Further Down The Spiral) help them to shine while everything else can be skipped.















Wrong Eye/Scope
Driving beat, blips and bloops, throw in the vocals and "Wrong Eye" sounds like an intro to a Liquid Television skit. Call me an asshole, but I feel like not too much effort went into this track*...because it's fucking boring.
Apparently, "Scope" was the result of a jam session while the band was on MDMA.
I can believe this.
Much like the previous track, it doesn't seem as if a lot of time and work went into this one either. It reminds me of one of those really early, unlistenable Manson demos a bit. It also sounds like it could have been on Liquid TV.**















How To Destroy Angels
The first ever Coil release. Side A, the title track, clocking in at over sixteen minutes. Side B, a "song" called "Absolute Elsewhere"...which doesn't actually exist, the vinyl has no grooves.
I would rather have listened to side B, for sixteen minutes than side A.
How to describe this...okay: I'm picturing Balance and Christopherson waiting as their instruments are arriving. Only some of the drum kit arrives; the cymbals. One of them wants to wait for the rest of their stuff to arrive, the other says, "Fuck that! We're COIL!!!" and thus, HTDA was born. The actual track consists of someone gently running a brush over a cymbal and then punctuating that soft silence by, occasionally, hitting a different cymbal (or maybe it's just a pipe next to a cymbal) as hard as they can.
For a quarter of an hour.
The was the world's first impression of Coil.
One thing I will admit, while there is nothing here to enjoy, musically, one has to admire the size of their balls.















ELpH*** - pHILM #1
The first track ('pHILM #1 (vox)") is the vibrations of mystic crystals and the portals they open.
A spreading warmth, like blood poisoning, seeps in while wandering, ancient phrase of notes comes in and out. A siren, distant and lonesome, not threatening, floats in the background. There is a sound of elevation before an electric tide of static flows in, slightly obscuring the crystals. The tide recedes, leaving gleaming future things that speak prophecy, but their voices disintegrate before we learn the truth and are left wondering.
Track two, "Static Electrician", is metallic, glitchy, blippy. Something reminiscent of AFX or Analogue Bubblebath. Not as dramatic or threatening as one might expect. There is still a crystal element to this, but now, they are less sacred objects and more musical instruments; being plugged into computers in order to gauge their resonance.
The final track, "Red Scratch", has that eerie dilated sound that appeared on later Coil albums such as Black Antlers. It's lazy, but lurking, it clearly has the potential to harm. There isn't a lot here, the listener is left to do the work, fill in the gaps.
A funny little mindfuck to end this paragraph: originally, this EP was only available on vinyl and the third track, only about three minutes in length, ended in a "fixed groove", meaning that, once the needle reached that point, it would continue repeating those few seconds of music until someone stopped it.
Seeing as this is Coil, I wonder how many people even noticed...















Sadness of Snakes**** - Nightmare Culture
"Various Hands" begins with pipes in a temple. Soon after that, the strings and bass are introduced. The strings try (halfheartedly) to cover up the blood, but that bass is working against them. A chrunchstomp begins which tears away away all vestiges of sanctity. There was a murder here and the last survivor is trying to hide from the killer. The bomb sounds that come in toward the end are a bit much, but they add a hint of apocalypse to this, upping the stakes, making things bigger.
Next, "The Swelling of Leeches" explodes into existence, breaking through from Their dimension to ours, polluting it with horrible nightmare things.
Then, things switch gears in a massive way and the xylophone and wacky trumpet kick in. Suddenly, the track ends and you're left wondering what the fuck just happened.
Things wrap up with "The Pope Hung Upside Down", which seems to be a call back to those horrible nightmare tings I had mentioned. Here, they are swooping overhead through an ebon sky and trying to speak...or maybe they are praying. During the prayers, some pigs start squealing and one wonders if these are dinner or perhaps, how these beings view us. Then some more awful animals noises.
This might be what the Great Old Ones listen to when they're relaxing.















The Wheel/The Wheal & The Wheal/Keelhauler#
"The Wheel" is straight up industrial. Some aspects sound like very early Nine Inch Nails demos (specifically the background programming on "Maybe Just Once"). Oh man is Balance's voice bad on this... This is a great example of early Coil. Some really cool sounds utilized on this.
"The Wheal"## seems to be an alternate, instrumental version of "Wheel". The guitar on here sounds like 80's pop, very radio friendly. Under the noise and dissonance, there's a solid pop song here. Something about the chords reminds me of "Scary Monsters" by Bowie. With some different, less aggressive production and some tweaks and polish, this could be a super-catchy, radio friendly, industrial Brit-pop track.
Which feels so fucking weird to say...
"Keelhauler" is less accessible, but not horribly so.  Driving synth bass and overcrisp cymbals make up most of this. A repeated industrial clanking join in as well. It sounds a bit mischievous, specifically that bass...like the soundtrack to an old video game about a naughty porcupine trawling some abandoned mineshaft for pineapples...or something just like that. It starts to repeat itself, but isn't long enough for it to get annoying.
This was a surprisingly enjoyable set of songs.















ELpH vs. Coil - Born Again Pagans
My first utterance upon hearing the beginning of track one ("Protection") was "break out the neon fluorescent body paint!!!" ###. The dark, heavy laser bass is just amazing. When everything kicks in, you can't help but want to shake your ass. This is some really solid dark wave electronic. You can really hear Danny Hyde's Pop Will Eat Itself sensibilities on this, or, to put it another way: this track would have been perfect for the soundtrack to The Saint. Although ELpH is just an alias for Coil, this sounds nothing like any Coil I've heard. I like this song so much that, upon discovering there is a thirteen minute version of it (as opposed to this paltry seven minutes version here), I put that on as soon as I was done with this EP...and it was just a bit longer than I would have needed to sate my dance bone.
Moving on.
The second track, "Glimpse", is sort of a boring version of the beginning of the final track, "pHILM #1".
The third track, "Crawling Spirit" is a quick trip to the boiler room of Silent Hill, where one can find a huge piece of rotation machinery floating in outer space.
The final track, "pHILM #1" is identical to the one found on the EP of the same name, except this one doesn't have the detached, ghostly vocals drifting around in it.















Windowpane
This EP consists of two remixes and the album version from Love's Secret Domain.
Neither of the remixes are much to speak of; the first (the "Minimal Mix") follows your typical remix formula: hi-hat without the tom, bass without the snare, switch up the beat a bit, shuffle the remaining elements and toss in some distorted vocals and boom, and the second (the "Astral Paddington Mix") is almost exactly the same, but there is a lot of slidey, chewy weirdness thrown on top of things. It's a lot more interesting with the slidey weirdness. This one could have been called the "Drunken Rainbow On Acid Mix". Not uninteresting, not interesting, just, you know, a remix. Meh.















The Anal Staircase
Now, although the actual 12" had only one remix ("A Dionysian Remix") and then two tracks from the album, there was a second remix of Staircase released later on some so-rare-it-doesn't-technically-exist-today compilation, so I'm just going to pretend that there was a release with both remixes.
I'll assume that, since no one is still reading this, that no one will mind.
"A Dionysian Remix" is a bit like the "Minimal Mix" mentioned above in that it follows the formula: things are shifted, emphasized (the spotlighting of that bassy tuba is pretty great), muted, foreground stuff moves to background stuff and vice versa. The vocals are made clearer (and remain ridiculous). Things get chaotic as they evolve and this ends in a more interesting place than it began.
In the "Relentless Mix" some basic elements have been removed, giving the mix more space and making things more eerie. And now the lyrics are whispered, lessening the sense of silliness and incresing the sense of creepiness. This turned out to be a subtle and interesting remix.















Coil vs. The Eskaton - Nasa Arab
I'm not sure if this is meant to be read as "NASA Arab", as in, an Arabic person related to the National Aeronautics and Space Administration or not, so...there's that.
The first track, "Nasa Arab" begins with light bugs. Not lightning bugs, but insects, made of light. They bounce and caper and flitter and all that for a bit, more eerie than pretty, but still pretty, and then some medieval tooting, then some hooting, then some bongos, then some bass, then some beats and then, guess what, you've suddenly got a really great thing happening. All the elements wove together beautifully. Over the next few minutes, aspects come in and go out of focus, feeling Fae one moment and industrial the next. This track feels almost like a reel or audio resume. The whole thing, once it gets going, is hypnotizing, mainly thanks to those olde worlde toots that serve as a base for most of it. After an exciting musical journey, things sour and some vaguely carnivalian sounds come in.
Then, "First Dark Ride" opens with some sharp, dark pinging and mumbled radio chatter. A moment later, a music box melody seeps in, soon joined by some sounds that Nine Inch Nails fans will find very familiar%%. After this, everything rewinds and things switch up, becoming internal. A voice sample is abused via a Kaos Pad for a few moments, then "I'm God and I've killed everybody. Now what?".
Nice. The NIN sounds flood back in along with some percussion and then the fucking beat DROPS.
At this point, I imagine what Nine Inch Nails' Further Down The Spiral might have been if they'd gone down this route... 
This is some excellent dark wave dance shit.
The very end of Dark Ride seems to be a different song, one composed of crystal bells and something like chanting.
Finally, three chords played on an organ and we're out.
Very impressive EP.
















Airborne Bells/Is Suicide A Solution?
The sound of wind through the teeth of some long abandoned piece of industrial machinery welcomes us to "Suicide". Balance announces that he is "the loneliest link in a very strange chain" before the watery, opium guitars float in and swaddle us in desolation and detachment. Think evil surf guitars on heroin. What follows is a recording of a friend of Peter Christopherson's% telling him how a close friend of his had just committed suicide by jumping off a cliff. He talks about how the friend left notes and broke up with his boyfriend and then goes on to ask Peter what must go through someone's mind as they're falling to their death.
To say this is dark is like saying...shit, I can't even put together a simile.
It's fucking dark.
Then, "Airborne Bells" drops us on a rattling, clanking ghost train, inhabited by skeletons playing a dark, tropical beat on drums and any other surfaces they can find. Once things get going, there is some really great percussion here and some even cooler keyboard melodies buried in the mix. The train slows down to pick up some more lost and broken souls (who also all happen to be great drummers) and then it speeds up and on into the everlasting night, leaving us to tap our feet and shiver at the same time...














Themes For Derek Jarman's 'Blue'

Some dark, echoing techno bass and...something I never thought I'd ever say with regards to Coil...the tambourines come in. After a moment of...just dealing with the fact that there are techno tambourines on this track, the beat comes in...and there are hand claps. After a moment of gay dance partying, the Coil kicks in with some razor laser and stuttery synth moans and electronic skritching. And it finally ends with something like violin Morse code. This is a very full two minutes.
The second track, 11 minutes,  starts with some straight funk which is quickly killed by Coil. Then, an extended and more churchy version of the synth moans from track one come in. THEN THE DISCO FUNK IS BACK!!! They even have those violin stings from the Bee Gees!
Then, back down to the basement with those synths from the start and the Morse code strings. The first track and first two and a half minutes of the second are basically different mixes of the same song...but...after some silence...some shit goes down and Coil's nightclub music starts playing.
Infected and sounding more urban than one would expect.
There's some nice use of space and darkness on here.
Throughout the whole thing, there is a low rumbling as if a subway is passing under your feet for several minutes.
Strobing club synths make you feel like dancing while covered in sweat and glitter.
Things get a bit repeaty and unfocused and I begin to lose interest. Before they win me back, it's over.
At least the first track and start of the second were worth it.
Wow.















ELpH - elph.zwölf
This EP consists on one, twenty minute track.
The beginning of this sounds a bit like the lonely, digital wind from NIN's "And All That Could Have Benn", but more shrieky. The sounds drifts back and forth between the channels for just long enough for me to worry if this is going to be the entire track, but then some blippy, gleeping beats start to flow slowly in; snow melting to revel a circuit board. Something about this reminds me of the second half of "The Beauty Of Being Numb", the muffled electronics probably.
There is also a printer jam and a modem disco.
A large...groaning...begins to overpower the bleeps as a Teletubby speaks the track's name three times.
Then, things kind of start over with that wind from the beginning, but with some other elements in there as well, like someone's cell phone going off and waking up the singing saws...the ones equipped with the sonic oscillators.
More modem chatter, some errors pitched up and down, then a brief hearing test, the cell again and then some...wiggles, I suppose you could call them.
That huge croaking pushes its way back in and, just as the listener settles in for more of the same with a few scant adjustments and additions, a distant, sandy hi-hat comes in, transforming this from a frozen tundra to a shady spot in a desert. Under the beat, everything that was still is. The beat reverses itself and some cool shit starts happening in the background, echoing notes played in a temple.
The elements drop out, one by one until we're left with some beeping.
The voice speaks again, reminding us of what we've just heard, and then a snatch of distorted (I swear to Christ) marching band/polka music carries us out.
You guys...I swear.





* Except for the artwork.

** Liquid Television aired from 1989 - 1991.

*** One of Coil's aliases, along with "The Eskaton".

**** What Balance and Christopherson called Coil before Coil was Coil.

# Two 7" singles were released in 1987, the first contained "The Wheel" and "The Wheal", the second contained "The Wheal" and "Keelhauler".

## A homonym of "wheel" which is defined as "a small, burning or itching swelling on the skin". Nice.

### Three exclamation points, no more, no less.

% I'm basing this on the fact that the caller addresses a "Peter" at the start of the message.

%% Listen to "The Downward Spiral (The Bottom)". I'm pretty sure these aren't references, but rather the actual sounds used in the remix.